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Great Truths about Life

Monday, July 04, 2011

1. Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.

2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to
Look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice
It is that wrinkles don't hurt.

3. Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone
In an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

4. The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a
Pleasant atmosphere...and let the air out of their tires.

5. Families are like fudge...mostly sweet with a few nuts.

6. Middle age is when you choose cereal for the fiber, not the
Toy.

7. The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

8. If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts.

9. Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing
Worse can happen to you the rest of the day.

10.You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes
And wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
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