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Not a Cup of Tea

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

So my alarm went off at 8:30 am this morning..didn't get much of those nights I was too wound up about life, kids, grand-kids, homework, my parents, work, leading on spark, taking care of my kidneys, walking, not - walking, my darn ankle!, eating right, sleeping right... too much to do and not ever enough time to do it!

Finishing the last three weeks of this class and maybe I can take a week or two FOR ME. Cleaning stuff, not looking for a new job - since I will be graduating in August (Stage walk in December), but making the decision to not return to higher education in the fall...

I am tired of my age its hard to do - I mean its REALLY HARD to do! Some professors demeaning me because I am older, younger adults wanting to suck the life out of me by my help or just do the task for them or the group - because they KNOW I care about my GPA. yada yada yada....

Today was one of those days I wish was better!!! I was suppose to do homework, ( I am in midterms - writing a paper), had an appointment with my sis to get my haircut - which turned out GREAT! (a 30 min drive one way)... decided my poor 2 year old puppy needed to go back to the vets for a recheck on his knee, as he is not getting better and he actually has gotten worse in the last few days, he no longer climbs the stairs to sit at my side while on the computer, he has not been eating as much as he usually does, and he is now whimpering on and off, even when I message him.

Not given good news: both of his knees are shot and he has hip dyspepsia. Two years old! the cost is about $3000.00 he is a Rottie! A big breed dog! The cost of how much I love HIM? it is not measurable! Don and I know that even if they will approve us for the credit to get ONE knee done - which is the recommendation... he will need meds for the rest of his life that cost about $130.00 a month. This we cannot do. Also, the meds they want him on..are the same EXACT meds that caused my kidneys to fail. My poor poor puppy!

I dont know what we are going to do - other then get a second opinion.

I am sitting here having a cup of tea and crying. I lost my dear dear Buddy in Sept 09. Brutus was a gift in July of 09 from my daughter, because we knew my Buddy dog was fading out of this life - he was almost 18 years old. I dont know that I can face losing another one of my baby's so soon! I have given this dog my heart.. he is so good in nature that my two year old grandson - holds up his hand and commands him to sit and stay and Brutus does it! I trained him right in more ways than one. Most ask if I am sure I have a pure bred Rottie... I do he is just so loveable!

Tomorrow is a new day and I cant wait to get to it!
off to read my bible and feel loved!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post

    Such a heart wrenching decision and I'm sorry it's in front of you.

    It doesn't sound as though the surgery would really give Brutus relief from chronic pain if he had to take meds forever. Perhaps this is as much a quality of life decision as it is a financial one.

    My best wishes to you.

    2486 days ago
    You have a lot going through your head at the moment. You do need to relax(if possible) with a cup of tea.
    Do you have a vet school near you.We have one here UT associated with UT College. If you have a vet school near you the cost for dear dog will be a lot less. Brutus is a beautiful dog. I know how you fell because i have given my heart to my Lexy a Shar Pei we rescued from a meth lab.
    Breathe and drink your tea, and check out the Vet School.
    2489 days ago
    emoticon Losing a beloved pet is so hard!! They work their way into our hearts and are such a big part of our lives! We had a purebred Rotti who was super sweet as well but she got hit by a car. Then we had a purebred boxer who, unknown to us, had a bad heart and she died. We have had our lovable Jack Russell for almost 3 years now and if anything happens to him I don't think I could bring myself to get another dog, it would be too hard!

    I so admire the way you keep going and pressing forward despite all that is going on in your life. God bless!
    2489 days ago
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