THENEWAMBER
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The important thing is getting back up

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I've fallen off the wagon, hard. I've gained back weight that I was hoping was gone forever. Not exercising, driving through fast-food, snacking rather than eating... I've done it all over the last month and a half. And I'm paying for it.

It's been a bad couple of months. I was at my Dad's until June 6th. The kids started summer PDO on June 8th. My Dad ended up back in the hospital on June 13th and was there until June 17th. I had a family birthday party at my Dad's on June 18th and my Mother-in-Law coming in on June 19th. My husband went in for surgery on June 21st. He got out of the hospital on June 24th, but went back in (by ambulance) on June 25th. He was there through yesterday. He's still recovering from the surgery, so there's a lot of things on my shoulders.

I'm not really expecting life to get any easier in the near future. My husband is going to be out of work for probably 3 more weeks. My kids are going to Vacation Bible School at the church where their PDO is from July 10th through July 14th. My nephew is coming to stay for a little more than a week to help me out, so I have to get things ready for him to come. Teddy (my eldest) starts school on August 11th and I have so much to get ready for him with this. It's just what's happening in my life right now.

With all of it, it's been easier to forgo exercise and healthy eating. Easier to just ignore what I should do. It's been easier to rationalize why I'm not working out or eating better. But I've GOT to change that. My whole family needs to change it.

Especially with things going as wonky as they've been, I've got to be in the best condition possible. I have to have a plan and start working that plan again. I need to keep up with my own health so I can keep up with the health of everyone else.

Yesterday, I worked out for the first time in a long, long time. And I could tell. My arms and legs still hurt today. I want... Gods, how I want to be able to say that I'm hurting so I'm taking today off. But I can't do that. I've got to work out again once my kids go up for a nap. Because excuses are too easy right now.

I keep falling off this wagon. I keep letting things distract me from my goal of good health. I'm all about the easy road too much of the time. But I can't be any more. I want to be around to watch my kids graduate, not only from HS but from college as well. I'm 37. It's not the same as 17. I need to remember that. I don't have the metabolism I did then. I don't have the flexibility I did then. Everything is going to take more work. And I need to work at it.

I'm coming back to SparkPeople because it's always been the best place for me. I need somewhere to be accountable, and this is the best place for it. I'm hoping to get my husband back here as well. Once he's healed from the surgery. Because we both need to be around for a long, long time.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ALOHAEV1
    Oh my goodness Amber, had no idea all this was going on!

    You may not get all the way back to where you were at 17 but you will be pretty darn close to it as you work on yourself. Keep in mind, it is okay to take some time for yourself, it isn't selfish it is essential.

    Come on back to the Town Square, Kelly
    2691 days ago
  • OILPAINTER
    Hey Amber! I miss you and the kids! We've been busy, too, and out of the loop. I remain very disciplined but with very little results. This hot weather has me exercising indoors these days. Let me know if you want a pass to Urban Active, they have a kid's center there while you work out. How's your hubby doing? I am so sorry to read all that he's gone through lately!

    I postponed my colonoscopy until the 15th because of my hectic schedule... coming up soon.

    One of my favorite quotes: "You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call "failure" is not the falling down but the staying down."

    Hugs, Camille
    2691 days ago
  • YANKEEBACKHOME
    Good for you coming back! Being honest (especially with myself) is one of the hardest things to do.

    Like you, I fell off for several months. Mom was ill last summer, and then passed away in the autumn -- all while I was here in England (where I live now). She was in Oregon, suffering from Alzheimers, and I couldn't afford to go visit. The stress of daily phone calls to my sons was unbelievable and heart-breaking, not to mention the multi-daily calls to my mom and her care-givers at the home she was moved into.

    Then the holidays, business issues and on and on. ad nauseum. I DO understand and I DO relate, believe me.

    But coming back here is the best treat you can give yourself. I am back on plan now., food and exercise both (despite my bad ankle and knee, and an old back injury that acts up all too often). That said, if *I* can do it, so can you!

    I have faith you'll be fine.... trust me on this, and trust yourself. And feel free to contact me if there is anything I can do to help -- a phone call (yes, from here, I can and will), email support, whatever,

    Huge hugs from across the pond,
    Debb
    XOX
    2695 days ago
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