Trying To Get Back To Basics
Saturday, June 25, 2011
I have been having a rough time getting back into the swing of things for a while now, I am talking months here. I have tried getting right back into it full throttle, but that did not work. I tried doing half of what I had gotten used to, again, hit that wall. So I have decided to go all the way back and start over with the BASICS. Four years ago when I started this, I started small, really small. I could only exercise 2-3 minutes a day. I would add every week, a couple of minutes each time. I worked up to 10 minutes, then 20 and then 30. I was ecstatic. It took a while, about 8 months, but I worked up to 60 minutes of exercise a day. I was losing weight. I lost 8 pounds my first week. Which I know was mostly water since I was eating a lot of salt and fast food. That had come to a halt. Then the loss was more gradual. Which was OK with me. My Dr had told me to loss slowly, 1-2 pounds a week. That would not be so hard on my body and I would be more likely to keep it off.
At about my year mark, I had seen a remarkable change in my body and HEALTH. I was no longer taking the elevator at work. I still don't. It is the stairs every day, all day. I have decreased several medications and eliminated 2 for my Diabetes. I felt great.
Then it all changed. My mother was living with her Fiancé who had purchased a home for the 2 of them. He never got around to changing his beneficiary on his insurance. He got really sick and passed leaving her in this home on a fixed income. She could not do it on her own. I placed my life on hold to try to help my mother. I would go to her house every weekend and do what I could. I am the 5th of 6 children. Three of which lived within 10 m in or her. My brother at the time, living with her. One sister a mile away and another one 10 min away. None of which were helping her. I was now giving up every extra dime to help her. I would have yard sales and sold everything in my house that I could do without. My own daughter even gave her Grandmother $800.00 or her financial aid money from school to help. As my siblings sat by and did nothing except maybe $30.00 in groceries every month or so. It is not like they could not afford it. They are all doing fine with money. Two of my sisters had 6 foster kids each and bringing in plenty of financial aid for them. I know this money should have been for the kids, but my sisters always did as then seen fit with that money. They could of at least made and extra serving of dinner and brought it to her. But every weekend I would travel the 45 min from my house to hers, but her groceries and clean her house and yard. You would have thought this was a great way to lose weight. Wrong. The stress got to be too much. I finally told my mother I just could not do it anymore after almost a year.
At that point I told her if she wanted my help all I could do was rent a house where I live and she could move in with me. She agreed. This was not an easy task as my mother had very large pieces of furniture. I finally found a house to accommodate all her stuff. I had to sign a one year lease. I gave my apartment that I loved and moved in with my mother. At first things were good. I had a yard of my own that I loved to work in. Then just after a couple of months my mother got very controlling. The minute I walked in the door from work she wanted me to move boxes and do this and do that. I was tired. I just worked 8 hours and wanted to sit for a few minutes. She would get upset that I did not jump when she snapped. My mother is very hard to live with. Years ago she had 4 or 5 knee replacements back to back. She stayed with me for over a year and I took care of her. Finally when that got to be too much for me I told my sisters that they had to take her for a while. Each sister could only handle her for a month or so. So she was moved around a lot. Anyway back to the house. My mother then started to spend time at my sisters house back where she was before. She stopped paying her portion of the rent, saying since she was not there she should not have to pay it. I tried to explain if she was there by herself she would still have to pay the rent weather she was home or not. At the 8 month mark I ask if she was going to start paying what she owed every month. She would not answer me. So I told her if she was not going to pay her portion of the rent I would not be able to keep the house. She now owed me 2 months rent. Within the next couple of months with only a week notice and 3 months still on the lease my sisters came in and in one day packed and moved my mother out of the house.
She is now back up where she was, sitting in a house with a roommate who does not talk to her very often and my sisters only visit when they want something. I am not being mean, but I do not go up there. I love her but she made her choices. She is not doing so well, and I feel bad for her. But I have done all I can.
So now I am back in the apartment complex I was in before. I like the complex but not the apartment I am in. The one I was in had been rented. This one has noisy floor boards. It is in the middle of the complex in front of the pool where the traffic is higher and people stare into my apartment when my drapes are open. And my neighbor smokes in our corridors and in front of my windows even though I have ask him not to since it sets off my asthma.
I have managed to pretty much maintain my weight. I do fight with a few pounds that I gain and then lose. So it is BACK TO BASICS for me. I am going back to a few minutes a day and will increase it weekly instead of daily like I was trying to do. After all I am no spring chicken any more. I have developed new medical conditions and am dealing with them as well. My food is still pretty good overall. I do not eat out much. I mostly cook at home. Mostly veggies. I think I am off a Good Start once again.