Thursday, June 23, 2011
The time is drawing near. I am about to make a big change. I am taking my 15 year old son from the small town of Sneads Ferry, NC, right on the coast to Sharpsburg, GA a small town just outside of Atlanta. We will be going from living in our house to sharing a home with my awesome sister, Sherry, her wonderful boyfriend, Johnny, and Sherry's 10 year old daughter, Taylor. I feel very grateful and blessed to have a sister who would welcome 2 extra people into her home for "as long as we like or need". I don't want to be a burden and I have to take her word for it that we are not. I definitely have issues with "receiving". I know it comes from a place I am trying to dig out of me that says I am not worthy. That is why I have chosen men who do not treat me as I deserve to be treated. I don't feel worthy of love and care. My child is paying the price for that and it doesn't feel good. He deserves so much more too. I don't want him to feel what I have always felt so I have to set an example starting now. We are both worthy of love and respect and happiness. We are. I am.
Thank you to all my Spark Friends who continue to send me goodies and post comments and PM me just checking in even though I haven't posted a blog since FEBRUARY. I log in every day, read a lot of blogs, comment on some of them and draw support just by knowing you are all in the background cheering for me, sending me strength. It means so much.
I am housesittng for a friend this weekend and it will be nice to be in her very nice home on the water with beautiful backyard plus dock. I will be taking care of her 2 large sweet dogs and 2 cats so it should be fun. Noah will be home from camp on Saturday and he will hopefully join me or stay home with his dad if his dad can manage to stay sober and if not, I will be 5 minutes away. We are leaving on Thursday, June 29. I feel happy and sad, but mostly I hope there is some peace in sight.