I have lots to write about today, so bear with me!
Topic 1: 24-hour fast
I decided to try a 24-hour fast today, in an effort to boost my weight-loss efforts post-binge. I got the idea from the blog Lean Saloon, which is written by someone who uses IF regularly. Following a cruise in which he overindulged for 5-days, he decided to experiment with different IF lengths to see how long it would take for him to get back to his pre-indulgence weight and definition. He found the building in a few 24-hour IFs helped speed up the process. You can read it all here: theleansaloon.com/2010/0
I can tell you this much. 24-hour IFs SUCK. I'm accustomed to doing anywhere from 14-18 hours, but anything past that gets uncomfortable. I get woozy, headachy, and cranky. Today, my symptoms weren't that extreme, but I did feel a bit fuzzy mentally. It was hard to focus on much of anything, including conversations. Still, I made it through. Not sure if it will give me any results, but we'll see.
Topic 2: Ways of Thinking
I met up with a friend for coffee today, and our conversation turned to weight-loss. She started Weight Watchers earlier this year and has lost 40 pounds so far. Since we're both in the process of losing weight, our conversations tend to gravitate in that direction, for better or worse. At her WW meeting this past week, the topic was about ways of thinking, and their leader encouraged them to think "like skinny people do." According to the leader, most skinny people don't obsess over food. When they are in a social situation, their focus is on being social, whereas many dieters focus on the food. Personally, my focus is ALWAYS on the food. When I'm at a bar with friends, I think about the food on the table and if I'm going to allow myself an indulgence and if that indulgence will make me binge. At a party, I obsess over the snacks. If I don't allow myself to snack, then I'm miserable. If I do allow myself to snack, I'm likely to binge. It's a lose-lose situation. At a catered meeting, my attention is on the buffet more than the topic of discussion. My brain is hard-wired to focus on food. For instance, my BF and I are going to look at apartments in DC tomorrow, and I'm more concerned about the meals we'll be eating during travel than what the apartments will be like. It's a terrible way to live. I swear, 95% of my thought is about food. But how do you stop thinking about something?
Topic 3: Going Solo
My BF and I had a chat tonight, and he told me he doesn't want to be Primal anymore. He said he misses his Coke and candy, and while he doesn't intend to indulge regularly, he doesn't want to feel restrained from eating anymore, either. He's also concerned about money, and thinks we could save tons if we switch from a meat-based diet to one that includes grains that can be purchased in bulk, such as oatmeal and rice, as well as beans. My boyfriend is a grown adult, and he can make whatever food choices he wants to. I told him I'd support him no matter what, but my only stipulations is that he has to remain mostly healthy, i.e. candy and Coke are not okay every single day. He agreed. I also asked that he not bring any of my trigger foods into the apartment (i.e. breads, snacks, peanut butter) and he agreed to that as well. While I support his decision, I'm sad to lose my Primal buddy. Following a certain lifestyle is much easier when you have someone doing it with you and supporting you along the way. While I know he'll still support my lifestyle, it will still be hard for me at times. For instance, on the are occasion we go out for a meal, he'll now be ordering non-Primal foods, while I struggle to find a meal that fits into my WOE. Going out for meals when we were both Primal was totally doable, because we were in it together...us vs. the menu. Now, I'll be going it alone. Our first trial is already upon us, since we're travelling tomorrow. I KNOW he'll get a Coke and some candy for the car ride, neither of which tempt me, but chances are that I'll get frustrated because he'll eat whatever his heart desires while I struggle to find travel-friendly Primal foods. Additionally, we're going out with some of his friends for dinner tomorrow night, and he'll order whatever he wants while I struggle to find something Primal. Again, a social situation in which I'll be more concerned about the food than about being social. I feel like I've lost my ally and it hurts a bit. But I want him to be happy, and if Primal isn't making him happy, then maybe it's not for him.
Topic 4: Wishes
Between the conversations I had with my friend over coffee and the conversation I had with my BF, I found myself wishing I could be one of those people who ate whatever I wanted and didn't care about the carbs or the calories or the consequences. When I eat whatever the hell I want, I'm happy...until the weight creeps back on. Then I'm miserable. I'm not one of those people who can be fat and happy, and I'm not blessed with an awesome metabolism that allows me to eat a bag of Doritos without gaining an ounce. In the big picture, do I want to be healthy? Yes, of course. But a lot of the time, I want to just stop caring about food. Stop obsessing over it. Just eat what I want when I want to, without thinking about the health benefits or lack thereof. I'm jealous of people who aren't consumed by thoughts of food. I'm jealous of people who can eat whatever they want and never think twice about it. I wish I was one of those people. Wishing, however, gets you nowhere. And I know myself. And I know that if I allow myself to eat whatever I want, the temporary happiness that comes along with that freedom is not worth the depression that comes when my jeans feel too tight.
Breakfast: None. IF.
Workout: 10-minute Grok walk (it started to thunder); 60 kettlebell swings; 3 sets of 35 second wall squats; 3 sets of 35 second planks; 3 sets of 10-rep wall push-ups.
Lunch: None. IF.
Dinner: Sausage and peppers.