Sticks and Stones May Break Your Bones, But Words Still Hurt Like A...

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I'm hurt. And I didn't know where to turn. So here I am.

I know I've been slightly MIA for awhile. I've been spending a lot of time diving into my new job that I started about 2 months ago and really trying to take all of that in. I've also been training hard to run my first 1/2 marathon (this Saturday!!). And on top of that I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with my new baby nephew. So yea, I know I've been somewhat absent.

But today sent me straight to SparkPeople. As I said, I just started a new full time job about two months ago. Tonight I was passing by my old employer and thought I'd stop in to see if anyone was around and just to say Hi. So I did, and to my pleasure I see my former boss and his wife sitting there. I was so excited to see them! We made small talk for awhile and I gushed about my new job. And then something came out of my former bosses mouth that I've literally NEVER heard or thought before in my life.

A man who I have had the utmost respect for since the day I met him. A man who worked his way from quite literally the bottom of a company all the way up to Marketing, Sales and Customer Service Director. A man who has run several successful business "on the side" while stilling working his 40+ hours and his normal job and being a family man. A man who would bend over backwards for you if you ever needed anything. A man who speaks eloquently and intelligently about anything from how to hold a scissors properly to the inner workers of a successful company. A man who I never thought was capable of hurting my feelings the way he did tonight.

He said, "Its so good to see you, you've been such a stranger since you started your new job. People have been asking about you lately!" I replied, "Oh really, that's so nice to hear!" He said, "Yea, just today we were talking about how that "fat little blonde girl" was doing."




I've often thought of myself as chubby. Or that I could use to lose a few pounds. But, fat? Really? I've never thought of myself that way. Ever.

I've never been 100% happy w/ my size. But fat, huh? And to my face? You really said that to my face? Fat? I know I've gained a few pounds. I know I don't have the hot bod of a 17 year old bikini model. I know I can always improve. But fat?

What in the world! I'm so hurt. I feel disgusting. I never want to see him again. I could cry. I did cry on my way home. Is that all you can think to say to me after 2 months of not speaking to me is that I'm fat? Have you nothing more important or intelligent to comment on?

This is the stuff eating disorders are made of, I kid you not. Fat.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    What a jerk! I can only say that he probably didn't mean it whatsoever. He was probably teasing you and didn't realize (utterly clueless apparently) that you might have insucurities about it. You are clearly NOT fat or overweight- so it's his issue. I am sorry you had to hear this. It would have hurt me as well. Hang in there. You most certainly are NOT fat.
    3093 days ago
    What the hell? Oh my gosh I am so pissed. UGH!!!!! You are not fat????
    3096 days ago
    Man, that's awful. I'm an au pair and the family I live with is naturally skinny. The 7yr old girl asked me the other day if I was fat. I was crushed. It's not nearly as awful as what your boss said and I know that nothing I say will make you forget it or make it hurt any less. BUT I wanted you to know that I understand. :-)
    3097 days ago
    I can't believe he would be that rude to you. Dont let him get you down girl, you're not fat at all! plus you're here so even if you can lose a few pounds you're doing something about it. I'm sorru such an awful thing happened to you.
    3097 days ago
    Some people just never seem to learn the age-old-addages of "if you don't have anything nice to say than don't say anything at all" and "treat others how you expect to be treated." I'm sorry that happened, but you should take comfort in that this guy is completely incapable of seeing true beauty... and that's sad. You should feel sorry for him, not for yourself. You're gorgeous and, while hard, don't let him put you down like that.
    3097 days ago
    Girl he deserves a smack in the face. You are beautiful! Never let words get you down. I have a complex from growning up and being called fat. It sticks with you, but you have to learn to view yourself differently. You are doing so great and working towards your goals. Never let anyone get you down!
    3097 days ago
  • ANG42J
    Thanks for all of your support everyone. I knew I could count on everyone at Spark. It doesn't make it any easier to hear/think about but at least everyone agrees with me that it was such an insensitive thing to say!
    3097 days ago
    p.s. I really wonder if you heard him wrong because it just doesn't fit. Did he maybe just say "that little blonde girl".
    3097 days ago
    Oh honey, you are soooooooooooooo not fat. Not even pugdy! Seriously, I don't understand how he could say that (or anyone could for that matter). Honestly, I kinda wonder if this was a sort of passive aggressive thing because you left his job for something else. Don't let this get to you because it is just really untrue (yes, I looked at your little bikini photos and can say that you look absolutely fantastic-not just "not fat" but rather toned and trim!). Aint no thang, ok?
    3097 days ago
    I am so sorry to hear about that! People who say things like that piss me off (I am pissed for you!) You aren't even CLOSE to fat!!!

    You know what I say?.... FORGET HIM! He isn't being respectful, so you don't need him in your life. You deserve way more! I hope you don't take his insensitive, jerkish comment to heart!


    3097 days ago
    I am so sorry, what an absolutely horrible thing to say! How did you even react to that? You definitely do not deserve anyone talking to you like that, it is seriously one of the most insensitive things I have ever heard. Please don't let this one person get you down, though! You look absolutely amazing in your Sports Bra sparkie pics!
    3097 days ago
    I can't even imagine. What a horribly insensitive thing to say! I don't even know you, but I'm here to tell you: you are more than the number on the scale, and you are more than the size on your clothes. Even if other people are too blind to see it! Keep your head held high and celebrate the little victories, and don't worry about this nincompoop. Hugs!
    3097 days ago
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