Here is something that is worse than being laid off
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
After working in a comfy desk job for a year, feeling financially stable for literally the first time in my life, and finally enjoying eating out at restaurants without stressing out about the bill, I gained weight. About 25 pounds to be exact.
I wasn't pigging out all of the time though. I ate healthy breakfasts and lunches, only occasionally going out to lunch once a week. But without working out and dining out for dinner on a regular basis, the weight crept up.
I was also in a casual work environment. Sundresses, shorts, jeans, and skirts were my "work attire". I was also allowed to dye my hair, and in the course of 7 months I dyed it green, teal, turquoise, and blue.
So imagine my surprise when I was laid off and had to root through my closet to find decent interview clothes. I had no idea that all of my business and business casual attire was too small! (Of course, I also had to dye my hair black to cover up the blue and look "normal".)
Yesterday, I went shopping for interview clothes, as I can't wear tight pants to an interview. After failing to find something at T.J. Maxx (the section for size 16 and XL clothes is practically non-existent), I trekked over to Old Navy, or Old Faithful as I should call them as I am usually able to find pants that fit there. I was shocked and dismayed to find that the 16s were too small! I tried on some 18s, a size I haven't worn in a good 5 years, and they were still baggy in areas, but at least they didn't look scandalous like the size 16s.
So what's worse than being laid off? Being laid off and being forced to buy a size larger in pants. A size I told myself I would never be again. One size that shows that I have made a significant step backward in progress.
I haven't bought clothes in almost a year, and I wasn't planning on it until I lost more weight. I am finally losing weight, and I am finally in a determined state of mind to which I do not believe I will fail this time. But now I have size 18 pants again, after I had given all my others away years ago. I will have to use them as a reminder to myself at what can happen when you lose focus of your goals...