I cannot even imagine if anyone was as bad at overeating as I was. I really don't want to sound like a preacher; I want everyone to know how bad I was, and how much better you can be.
I was very active for a while, but I have been binge eating since I was 12 and am now 26, soon to be 27 on July 2nd, 2011. I had a habit of rewarding myself with having such a great job by coming home and drinking until I was wasted an hour or so later. Then, I would order at least 1 large pizza, 20 or so chicken kickers/wings, and order of cheese sticks, plus a dessert like brownie bites. I ate all of this myself! If I didn't eat it all within the first hour of delivery, I would finish it off within an hour or two later.
Since joining the group, I have found that this is not a isolated incident. Other people in this group have helped me discover that I am not alone and that many others have this eating disorder.
Thank you all so much for you candidacy and sharing your stories. It takes a humbling amount of effort to admit these flaws, and I have received an indescribable amount of relief knowing that I am not the only one.
Please, any one who needs help controlling binges, oncoming or already happened, do not feel like you are alone. I really know what its like to binge on food and feel like a sack a garbage the next day. Because of a book I purchased, I have very recently started analyzing why I binge, and what I have tried to stuff down with food. This book, "Love Hunger," which was a collaboration of several PhD.'s and Doctors about what causes empty hearts and the desire to fill them.
There is an emotional pain that drives you to eat so much, and I am starting to find my causes. If you want to talk, if you want help, someone who can at least understand why, even though I am not able to help you fix it. I can at least empathize and let you know that someone else feels the pain, too, if you would just reach out to someone who cares, or feels that pain that we try to cover and smother with food, I will try to help. Just know that you are not alone and are not judged by the group. We all have our individualized reasons, but for me, it helps amazingly to know that someone else uses food to bury the pain and is not too ashamed to share. Knowing the why of the problem is halfway to the how of stopping it. Please reach up and grab the hand that is reaching down to you.