Its been a few days...

Thursday, June 09, 2011

What an interesting past few days! I'm making progress and feel really great about that! I'm not trying to lose the weight fast, even though it does feel like I gained it fast. I put much more thought into what and when I eat, which I think has been playing a big part of my success, so far. My weight fluctuates from day to day, even though I make sure I weigh at the same time every day. Of course, that is probably because I am a woman and more prone to water retention on certain days of the month! Darn it! emoticon I try to focus on that weekly weigh-in to track my progress more than my daily weight.
I did have a binge yesterday, in spite of trying to go 21 days without doing so. So, today is emoticon again. That's okay, because I know that the more I pick myself back up again, the more confident I feel that I can maintain my healthy lifestyle. No matter how much I wish I were perfect, I know that I can never be. I'm human and make mistakes habitually. This is especially true when I start thinking about how long I've been unemployed. I take great pride in being able to support myself: I'm ashamed of how much help I have needed these last 9 months just to get by. (No I'm not pregnant, LOL.) Its been a struggle some days, but other days, I feel carried by the momentum of my progress. I am far ahead of my goals, and I remind myself of this all the time. Gum has also helped a lot with my binge eating ; I just don't want to eat when I still have the taste of gum remaining.
Its not all positive, as much as I try to focus on that. I've had some post-nasal drip from my allergies and its made my throat sore this week in particular. Tuesday, I realized that I had some minor swelling in my glands, too. emoticon
I was concerned about the slight fever I had that night, but it was gone in the morning and has not returned. (I did my best to "sweat it out" as my parents taught me, and I hope that helped.) I don't have any insurance, so I'm trying to just rest yesterday and today and hope that it passes. (Also, I have been gargling salt water frequently.) I'm tired of waiting to work out; it feels so wrong, now, to miss workouts. This is a great sign for me, because that means I've made it a habit already! emoticon I'm back to working out tomorrow, because I'm feeling better. Its not completely gone, but I can't stand not burning any calories!
I feel more fit and have even been incorporating step aerobics more the past seven days or so, mostly due to the record high temperatures. That's cool, since step aerobics burn way more calories than my walks. I'm also super-excited about the belly dancing lessons I recently discovered on my on-demand menu. emoticon
I've always wanted to learn but have two left feet. I feel too awkward in group classes, so I like being able to do this in my living room!
My biggest motivator now is being put in the spotlight in the "For the Love of Horror" team! Wow! Gorsch emoticon
Its so awesome to get this kind of recognition for meeting my goals! Yay! Thanks to everyone who has left such kind and supportive congratulations! emoticon I've got the motivation I need to succeed.
I did have a blowout with my boyfriend last night and haven't had the chance to apologize, since he has been avoiding me and went to work. I understand, though. Most of the things I said were really hurtful and actually were my own frustrations with myself. Its really not fair to take out your insecurities on the people you love. I feel terrible about it. I hope I can catch him tonight when he gets home from work, but I may fall asleep. The one good thing is that I do not even feel like binging on food, because I realized my disappointments directed at him are things only I can fix.
I promise myself that from this point forward, I will do my best at everything I do. I know I can!
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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