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Failed but not a failure

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

A few weeks ago, I set up a challenge to myself to help me lose the extra weight I have before a big family get together. I failed at actually even STARTING it but I don't feel like I am a failure.

Last year, I lost 40 pounds and then plateaued. I wanted to lose an extra 10 pounds putting me at 160 by this past weekend. I wanted to look and feel so good when I saw my family that I have not seen in a long time. What I found out was that even though I lost 1 pound in that time, I was still successful with my challenge. I felt and looked great! I had so many compliments from all of my family that it is overwhelming–I don't take compliments well. Everyone came up and told me, "You look fantastic!" and "You look so great!" It was a great ego boost but then that girl from the past with the low self esteem peeked out and said to me, "What did these people think of me before? Was I that horrible looking? That fat?" My husband had to chase her away so I could bask in the fruits of my hardwork! And I did.

I ate terribly, drank very little water, and didn't do a whole lot. I mean if I was using vacation time from work to go, this WAS my vacation and I'll be damned if I was going to make it any more difficult for myself! That was stupid thinking but I was luck and didn't gain a thing really. I did run about 3 miles in the 90° way humid weather at noon. Stupid again but I felt great when I was done (after I cooled down and relaxed, that was a very difficult run for me). I need to run more, I enjoy it. Note to self, make more time for running.

So I came up ahead after my visit even though I never followed through. I needed that esteem boost though and that will help propel me forward. Now if I can only get rid of this damn cold....
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