MSSUNBUG
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Why I Wouldn't Give Up the Bad Days

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

I've had a few bad days recently. I've been alternatingly grouchy, sad, ragingly angry, horribly depressed, then numb, grouchy, sad, repeat, repeat. There's no evident cause for this, and luckily I'm at a point in my life where I can ride this wave without too much attachment or concern, more wonder and awareness. My sleep has been a bit off, and my food has been all over the place too, eating a little too much, eating things I don't normally choose to eat. And yesterday, for the life of me I could not muster up the energy to attack even ONE THING on my to-do list. And my to-do list really isn't that intimidating. heh.

I woke up this morning feeling ever so slightly better. I put on my running shorts and made some breakfast out of the strawberries from my garden, the honey from my local farm, some oatmeal, and some eggs from the man who raises chickens up the street, and---BAM---gratitude.

You know what? I wouldn't trade the bad days for anything. It's so cliche, but they make the good days seem so much brighter and... well, more good. But even more important, they always highlight for me those places where there is room for more growth--or where more growth is even, at this point, necessary. In the middle of my stillness yesterday (I really meant that I couldn't find it in me to do ANYTHING I intended to do!) I opened my eyes to a lot of different things--some relationships that aren't working, some plans I've made that I don't want to have, some decisions I've made that I'm no longer comfortable with, some areas of my life that need my attention. I didn't develop any grand plans. I've definitely learned enough to know that those usually don't last and don't work when they come from the state of mind I was in yesterday. But I DID have my eyes opened. And I did imagine some new possibilities. Some of them were even pretty exciting.

In the past, bad days (or weeks or months) were complete and total catastophes. Generally, I ate and drank my way through them, ironically, turning bad days or weeks into bad months and years. What a gift to feel the feelings, to ride the tide, and to come out the other side with insights and possibilities. While I've got no real sense of what single thing I could do to shake off this general state of mind, I'm okay with that. I know that a healthy breakfast, this blog, and the run I'm about to take are a great start. :-)

I wish you a good day today sparkfriends--or a bad one, perhaps, rife with growth and possibility. More soon!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PEACEBII
    so inspirational! thank you for posting! emoticon
    2577 days ago
  • CIZETHEDAY124
    Melissa - I'm so glad that you posted this! It gives me hope!! I've been having a few bad days here recently and mentally I was just about drained until I read your blog tonight!

    By the way - your breakfast sounds so delicious that I may have to make my own rendition of this tomorrow morning before my workout!

    emoticon
    2596 days ago
  • BANAN2
    Sorry you've been having some bad days. I admire your ability to notice and let it be. Great that you recognized a few of the things that might be making you feel out of sorts. Keep us posted as you work it all out. You have so much to bring to the table now, as far as awareness and tools for dealing with life and courage to do what is necessary instead of medicating while trying not to displease anyone. Wish you well, my friend. i always feel proud of you, like a Mom!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2597 days ago
  • ME_HERE_NOW
    i am totally with you, bad days can be a revelation. i find i am finally at the point where i need to explore life in a new way, spark my whole life if you will, for me that means coming at things with a more positive and open outlook instead of shutting things down before i even give them a chance. i love picturing you in the garden, in your running short & eating fresh good yummies. every time we have a struggle like this is helps us further fortify our paths, looks like you are well on your way, xoxo!
    2599 days ago
  • MT-MOONCHASER
    I love what you have learned about yourself.

    Great attitude!!!

    emoticon
    2600 days ago
  • LIBBYFITZ
    emoticon
    2600 days ago
  • JOHNTJ1
    I need to see, hear and read this today. I could probably high jack your blog, LOL, but I'll simply, honestly and with sincere gratitude say thank you so very much for being a beacon and an example even when you are not feeling 100%.

    I agree, that those gloomy days make the good ones seem even better.

    Much Love

    John
    2601 days ago
  • SPARKLISE
    You are really growing and growth is sometimes painful. That is one of my goals-to be able to ride the wave of life without drowning myself in food. We just have to remember that the sun eventually comes out. Good job! emoticon emoticon
    2601 days ago
  • SCHENPOSSIBLE
    Some days and nights seem are so bad that I just know going into the next day I'm going to be off balance. But I'm always thankful when the next day goes smoothly, I stay on program and do the things that I intend to do. It's what keeps me on program and striving towards my goals. It always gives me great comfort to know that I am not alone and that these days are just part of life. Thank you for posting this blog. I hope you have a happy, healthy and lovely day.
    2601 days ago
  • KLAD_COCKERS
    You are so insightful. I'm glad to hear that the bad days didn't derail you at all. Now go have a good one! I think you've earned it ;)
    2601 days ago
  • SCARECROWISCOOL
    Great blog. You are such a smart woman. emoticon
    2601 days ago
  • ZIRCADIA
    Totally. Sometimes coming back from that bad place is all it takes to appreciate the little things and to make new realizations. *HUGS* :)
    2601 days ago
  • CJANSEN40
    Sounds good learning from the bad, is the only good that can come out of it. Keep up the good work
    2601 days ago
  • FREES1
    sounds like the state of being of someone who has made some mighty big changes in her life and now has to transition out of the old and into the new!
    I am so glad that you have found it safe to just go with the feelings, the inner workings, rather than trying to self medicate with food and/or drink... what progress that is into your new healthier lifestyle! So good to learn from the insight that comes from the funk!
    Hope the run was/is a good one - right up there with that breakfast!
    Keep the faith - the good days are coming back - and you are so right in that without the bad or negative in our lives we'd never appreciate the good and positive!
    be well

    2601 days ago
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