I've HAD IT!
Saturday, June 04, 2011
I tend to stumble along this path, sometimes doing great & sometimes only doing it about half-assed. So, the last couple of weeks my problem is getting enough calories so I'm not really fussing about that. Its the heat, I know it. I have started using slimfast for those days I just cant face eating. I bought bananas to put in the icebook for cold fruit. You get the idea.
Now, between the time I left the gym because I couldnt afford membership and now, I have only did what I said above--not much in the way of weight loss. That meant I gained. My clothes got tight. I have clothes I cant fit into anymore. The ones I can still wear, snug and makes me have a monster size muffin top. Eww. Yesteriday, I was going through clothes looking for something comfortable to wear. Not this, not that. too tight-not long enough (idea i'm hiding my belly--not). I got mad! I've had enough of not fitting into my own clothes. Not like I can buy more with our budget--not that I want to anyway!
My half-assed attempt at losing weight has mostly centered around calories. Exercise is hit and miss. I find myself getting jealous at some friends that started out bigger than me and yet they are totally kicking ass on the weight loss. I decided to let them inspire me instead. I know what they are doing. Watching the calories and working out and working HARD!! You know what, they started bigger than me and still stuck to exercising! I remember reading how much it hurt my friend to move when she first began. What? I'm I scared of a little pain? How about the pain that hits me when I look in the mirror? How about the pain from arthritis in both knees and knowing that all this weight is killing them?? How about the pain that comes from being fat, not fitting into clothes. By god there are things I want and I'm going after them. No more sleeping pills that drag me out and make me sleep late. Exercising in the mornings before it gets hot. Breakfast! Water and more water. If they can do it being bigger than me and now smaller--by god so can I! My clothes are going to fit and then become way too big for me. Thats my goal!!