Saturday, June 04, 2011

I know that its been a while, but my boyfriend is now gone.... ha ha it makes it so much easier to use the spark when he is not around and hanging over my shoulder every minute (but my apartment is so small, its not really like there is anywhere else for him to be) but with him here, I find I pick up on his nasty eating habits, take out, fast food, late night munching etc. so as for my calories I have no idea what I ate when he was here, nor did I get to the gym ("but baby don't you want to spend time with me?" or "I came all this way to see you") On the bright side we did go walking... a few times some where long so were short and they were all at night which I'll admit, I love walking at night.

When my boyfriend is here it really seems like I can't get anything done! My house was clean before he got here - mostly there was a few things that I needed to get done, and what should have been maybe an hour's cleaning has turned into about an afternoon's worth of work more if I sweep and mop which I need to. Him helpful, no I when I would leave for work and he would be here for about 6 hours by him self he could not even bother washing our breakfast dishes, or rinsing then off! He would watch movies, and nap ignoring his homework until he had to leave and then stress himself out so much that he would screen headaches after 5 mins of looking at him homework, so I had to help him do that as well. And try and control my emotional state so the stress that he created dose not effect me.

I started dating this guy, because he seemed so together, much more then most people my age. He had a life plan, how he was going to make the translation from university to the workforce, the classes he needed, what he needed to do to become an MP and it sounded like he had it all worked out and researched! Nope! He had a plan, which has now fallen apart, because he did not check his facts!! Providing that he does not fail anymore classes, he will graduated this Christmas. By then I will half way finished of my second degree!! I know that he took a year and a half off from university and i understand the reasons, and its fine, but right now I really feel like this guy might drag me down with him, where as I am working hard to get want I want in life.

A house back in the city I love, a good career, a trip to Europe which is no big deal to him (as he has been there 3 times, as he has family there all which his parents payed for) Nor do I really care about the white picket fence with 2.5 kids and a dog and two cars and swimming lessons, baseball torments the basic suburban dream. Kids - don't really want any, dogs - I'd rather a cat (he's allergic) I hate baseball! I really do - I don't like most sports! Heaven forbid I am a girl. his favorite line lately "My girlfriend is being a girl again"

Sorry sparkers, I had to get all this out some where, espically since it seems that saying this to him well it just bounces off his thick skull.
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  • ALYSSA40
    I like your rant but I have to ask, "Are you living for him or for yourself?" You adjust everything for him and he doesn't do anything for you but make you feel happy for a tad and frustrated for the remainder. He doesn't even do his own homework! Re-evaluate the relationship; I have a feeling, you could find someone who boosts you up as much as you boost them. Good luck!
    2461 days ago
  • LINJO66
    Seems like you have some soul searching to do.

    One question I am going to ask is this: if he NEVER changes, can you live the rest of your life with him like that and the effect on your life and self esteem? Does his lifesyle and its effect on you pale in comparison to your sheer joy and love of this man? [Okay, thats two questions?]

    Good luck on your weight loss goals this week!

    And thanks for the goodie!
    2574 days ago
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