A New Policy
Thursday, May 26, 2011
I applied for a new life-insurance policy on April 29th of this year. That was my most recent wake up call. Starving myself until noon for the bloodwork was torture and the numbers on the scale were staggering. HOW was I two pounds away from my starting weight 3+ years ago?! I won't lie.... I felt disgusting. And motivated.
Since I started on SparkPeople in 2008, I have made A LOT of changes. I eat better and exercise more. So why hasn't that been good enough? Well, I suppose it has to do with that whole "paying the price" principal. And if I'm really honest with myself, I've been taking shortcuts and discounts. And guess what?! It's costing me! I had gained back at least 25 pounds, our grocery bill (although comprised of seemingly healthy things) was getting higher, and I pay too much for life insurance! Time for a new policy - and not just a 30-yr term life - but a new policy on how I take care of myself.
In nearly a month's time, I have lost 10 pounds. Now, this FAR exceeded my expectations of 1-2 pounds a week. I can only attribute this to hard work, discipline, and the grace of God. EVERY day I pay the price and make my choice. I don't have a scrapbook of goals, I don't have pictures up in my cube of my ideal body, and I don't have a "Do Not Eat" list. I'm a real person with real-life obligations, challenges, and time contraints. I cry sometimes. This is HARD. But I'm not giving up.
This is more than just eating and exercising. In fact, it seems every week (sometimes daily) I have a new revelation - big or small. Like realizing, I'm NOT a selfish person for making my workout a priority over doing the laundry. Or grilled chicken really fills me up and isn't weird or gross. Or the fact that I have believed what I heard growing up... that I was fat and that made me not as valuable of a person and I would always be that way - and realizing that those are LIES! I still hear them in my thoughts sometimes, but with support and through prayer I also hear the truth.
So, how has this worked? There's no big secret. Following "the rules" and "using the tools" works.
I burn the calories I need to burn and intake the calories and nutrients I need to eat. (and track it!)
I measure things and look at what a serving is.
I push myself to keep going, but not to the point of injury. I know what my body can and cannot do right now.
I do FUN stuff! (Zumba!!!)
I ask for support the way I need it. (give me positive reinforcement vs asking "should you be eating that...?")
I plan and prioritize.
Is it still hard? Yes. Do I still want to give up somedays? Yes. But I believe in the dividends I'm earning of paying the price; I believe I'm insuring my future.