210 days to go
Thursday, May 26, 2011
My last blog was about getting engaged. I realize it is time for an update. I'm not sure if it is the fact that I'm turning 40 in a couple of weeks (what is it about that age?!), my continuing financial problems, or the fact that I have continued to gain weight lately but I have been in such a slump. The beginning of the year was fantastic. I had dropped weight and shed inches but then it all went down hill from there.
My fiancee last night was so disappointed with me because I have been putting off booking our reception. I had a lot of time to think about it and realized that aside from my financial worries, my biggest problem with the wedding is that I feel so out of shape and tired and unmotivated and just undeserving to be getting married. I'm so used to being unhappy that the possibility of being happy is scaring me. I go through a couple of days of staying motivated and on track and then a week of NOT.
Therefore with 210 days to go - I'm going on a journey. Not just for my wedding but for my life. I want to start my life with my new husband on the right foot. Before I can be committed to him - I need to commit to myself. I know I cannot do this alone so anyone that wants to support me or needs support is more than welcome to join in. I cannot guarantee it will be fun. I may whine and cry and shout but I WILL start to make some changes.
(this link is for a spark team I started in support of getting my unmotivated self into shape) www.sparkpeople.com/mysp