Tuesday, May 24, 2011
I just finished looking at pictures from the devastation in Joplin, MO. So many people lost so much. It’s hard to even contemplate the horror and loss that the town’s residents have to deal with. This comes just after all the horror in Mississippi and Alabama. It really makes my little break-down last night seem stupid and selfish. It’s so stupid and selfish that I can’t bring myself to blog about it. Let’s just say it involved a screaming toddler, two hours of sleep, lots of sobbing (on my part) and deep insecurities about my ability to be a good mom to my son and a good wife to my husband.
What I will say is that a lack of sleep and a lack of sanity are wreaking havoc on my food intake. As an emotional eater, the food is winning today. I’m trying but I’m having a hard a time fighting the overwhelming desire to consume a full sized bag of Doritos, a carton of Ben and Jerry’s and a bottle of wine. I want to curl up under a blanket and stare at bad reality TV instead of lacing up my sneakers and going for a run.
Simply put, I just want to sit around feeling sorry for myself instead of actually putting in the effort into feeling better.
I’m trying to fight it. My gym bag is next to my desk, waiting for 4PM. I messed up on breakfast but my lunch was within range. I’m checking Spark frequently (while working…don’t tell anyone) in hopes that everyone’s positivity will rub on me. I’m trying. I really am. But I just don’t want to.
Hopefully tonight will be better and a few more hours of sleep will turn things around. I promise a more positive blog tomorrow.