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10 Things I Am Going To Do After I Get To Goal

Friday, May 20, 2011

1. Model in a fun photoshoot. I have a TON of friends that are photographers, but I have never had the courage to let them shoot me because I do not have confidence in my body, and it shows through in photos. (The only decent pictures of me are when I am drunk!)

2. Cosplay. Every year I attend Dragon*Con, the largest pop-culture convention in the US. I always do generic costumes such as vampire, pirate, etc. because I do not feel I could do any character justice. Every now and then when I have done a character, I felt like I would have looked so much better if I wasn't so heavy. If I lose weight, I feel like I could represent any character I wanted with confidence: Leela, Phoenix, give Blind Mag a redo...the options are limitless.

3. Buy clothes from cool alternative designers. I'm currently a large 16. Even if I got down to a size 12, I could wear: Lip Service, Tripp NYC, Plastik Wrap, Futurstate, and look good in just about any brand of latex clothing.

4. Get more tattoos. I really want a large thigh piece, but I am embarrassed of all the cellulite and varicose veins. If I lost some weight, I've heard the varicose veins would get better, and I wouldn't be so self-conscious.

5. Cross my legs--comfortably! I have always been able to just barely cross my legs. I remember being in high school and envying the girls who could cross their legs high up on their thighs. The sheer amount of fat on mine will not allow that. Since I have GAINED weight this last year, it has gotten even worse. It is something that is so simple, I have always used to gauge weight.

6. Be able to walk in a skirt, dress, short shorts, without my THIGHS TOUCHING and rubbing together, creating painful rashes.

7. Be able to go up the stairs without my knees crunching and workout without knee pain and braces. I'm not a doctor, but I have read that these symptoms can be relieved with weight loss.

8. Wear a bathing suit without feeling incredibly self-conscious. Sure, I might not be a model when I get done, but even some weight loss will make me feel better about myself.

9. Go to a group fitness class and not worry that everyone is thinking that the "fat girl" might keel over halfway through class. (For the record, I have and still plan on attending group classes. It will just be nice not to look around the room and not think, "I'm the fattest one in here.")

10. Perform in shows or go-go dance. Several of my friends perform in a variety of shows, go-go dance, and model in alternative fashion shows. I have always been a performer at heart, but for club events and performances, being hot is almost as important and being talented. Once I lose weight, I'll be able to wear the kind of clothes I would need and have the confidence to go with it.

I know I could do some of these things now, but the purpose of this list is to motivate myself. If you don't have anything positive to say, please don't say it.
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  • RAVEN_X13
    Randomly saw a comment on this blog in my friend feed and thought I'd pop by. Just have to say, you have very wonderful and realistic goals. The weight loss (And even the exercising itself) will really help your knees. I could barely get up a flight of stairs without having to stop before I started exercising, but my knees are significantly better now. Go for it! (And loooove your cosplay ideas!)
    3678 days ago
    Those sound like awesome goals!

    I go to Dragon*Con every year too and have never made an awesome cosplay because of my weight. So I totally know how you feel there.

    Good luck, I know you can do it!
    3678 days ago
    Love your"to do: list. It is motivational to have goals. I hope you set up some goals along the way. I find your list inspirational,you made a list that is fun and celebrates you! emoticon
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Cheering you on,
    3681 days ago
  • RUE_19
    sounds like a great list of inspiration and motivation for you. BTW... i keep promising myself a side tatoo (down my torso) when I hit goal
    3681 days ago
    What a great list!!
    3681 days ago
    I Sooooo know how you feel! (and btw, love the Blind Mag costume idea. I think you'd make a great one! you've got the face!)
    But i have 2 tips for you that I have learned on my own... I WISH someone had told me...
    The chub rub. Girl, even when I was a size 10 I had it. BUT there are ways around it until you loose it!
    1) walking slips.. I know, I know. It's not that sexy, but WHO CARES!??! Having to walk in a weird way so that your tender and painful thighs stop rubbing together causing a small fire to be set between your legs is not sexy either!
    2) ( I just learned about this one) Body Glide. (get your mind out of the gutter! emoticon ) Seriously, this is a product that runners use to stop chaffing when they run. As soon as I read about it I knew I had to try it! It comes in a deodorant style applicator. I tried it the other day and I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised that I could get through belly dance class with no chub rub! BUT you may find that you have to keep applying it depending on how active you are being.
    ANNNND, if you don't want to use the B.G. or can't find it or whatever, you can do basically the same thing with regular stick deodorant (not spray, roll on or gel. It has to be a solid stick) and baby powder. Rub the deodorant on your thighs then powder. I'm serious. It works.
    Good luck to you with your goals! You're beautiful!
    3681 days ago
    Girl you can do it!! I love this's honest.

    BTW Blind Mag is an AWESOME COSPLAY!
    3681 days ago
    Those are all awesome fun things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    3681 days ago
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