10 Things I Am Going To Do After I Get To Goal
Friday, May 20, 2011
1. Model in a fun photoshoot. I have a TON of friends that are photographers, but I have never had the courage to let them shoot me because I do not have confidence in my body, and it shows through in photos. (The only decent pictures of me are when I am drunk!)
2. Cosplay. Every year I attend Dragon*Con, the largest pop-culture convention in the US. I always do generic costumes such as vampire, pirate, etc. because I do not feel I could do any character justice. Every now and then when I have done a character, I felt like I would have looked so much better if I wasn't so heavy. If I lose weight, I feel like I could represent any character I wanted with confidence: Leela, Phoenix, give Blind Mag a redo...the options are limitless.
3. Buy clothes from cool alternative designers. I'm currently a large 16. Even if I got down to a size 12, I could wear: Lip Service, Tripp NYC, Plastik Wrap, Futurstate, and look good in just about any brand of latex clothing.
4. Get more tattoos. I really want a large thigh piece, but I am embarrassed of all the cellulite and varicose veins. If I lost some weight, I've heard the varicose veins would get better, and I wouldn't be so self-conscious.
5. Cross my legs--comfortably! I have always been able to just barely cross my legs. I remember being in high school and envying the girls who could cross their legs high up on their thighs. The sheer amount of fat on mine will not allow that. Since I have GAINED weight this last year, it has gotten even worse. It is something that is so simple, I have always used to gauge weight.
6. Be able to walk in a skirt, dress, short shorts, without my THIGHS TOUCHING and rubbing together, creating painful rashes.
7. Be able to go up the stairs without my knees crunching and workout without knee pain and braces. I'm not a doctor, but I have read that these symptoms can be relieved with weight loss.
8. Wear a bathing suit without feeling incredibly self-conscious. Sure, I might not be a model when I get done, but even some weight loss will make me feel better about myself.
9. Go to a group fitness class and not worry that everyone is thinking that the "fat girl" might keel over halfway through class. (For the record, I have and still plan on attending group classes. It will just be nice not to look around the room and not think, "I'm the fattest one in here.")
10. Perform in shows or go-go dance. Several of my friends perform in a variety of shows, go-go dance, and model in alternative fashion shows. I have always been a performer at heart, but for club events and performances, being hot is almost as important and being talented. Once I lose weight, I'll be able to wear the kind of clothes I would need and have the confidence to go with it.
I know I could do some of these things now, but the purpose of this list is to motivate myself. If you don't have anything positive to say, please don't say it.