LUNADRAGON
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Is it a panic button, or a reset button?

Monday, May 16, 2011

Today, I have been thinking. I do that a lot.
This has been rough lately. Just in the last 4 weeks I have regained 7 more lbs (due to fluid retention and steroids). The recent bout with whatever has caused the facial rash, and joint swelling threw me under the bus. I am flustered. That means I have re-gained a total of 10 lbs. of the 28 I had lost. That is more than 1/3 and I do not like it one bit. I am determined. I am frustrated. I am motivated. I am scared.

Today I have been eating carefully, and had a full night's sleep.
My stomach has been unhappy as well - more reflux than I have had since I began losing weight. I even had trouble drinking cranberry grape juice today. Grr.
So I am eating carefully. and will log it all today. Something I have not been doing since surgery 9.5 weeks ago.
I measured myself last night. Unhappy. gained an inch in each one of the crucial areas. No wonder my clothes have felt tight.
Have to change bras. But my bigger ones, are too big. Need to go get the double D's that I had been measured for. I don't want to spend the money on that. Balderdash.

No, I am not down. Just determined. Again.
Most of my day, I spent listening to music, and cutting out and going through coupons. and thinking. Thinking of pushing that reset button.

Morning PT routine - 22 minutes of stretches and strengthening. (tomorrow is official phys. therapy day)
Breakfast - oatmeal with a banana
Lunch - english muffin, boiled egg, juice
dinner - small steak, grilled onions, brown rice, salad with cucumber and tomato and dressing.
snack - yogurt.
vitamins

If I feel the need for any more food - and I certainly don't right now - I will make popcorn. But I don't think I will need it. I will keep on drinking my water.

Anyway, my hand is resting, no hovering, over the reset button - to restart this whole thing. Is that a good thing? Or is it better to ride the wave and work at regaining, or rather relosing the ten lbs that have come back to irk and harrass me?

It is like walking a line, I have been working on healthy eating, water, etc., but the little things have thrown my line off course, and I seem to be walking in a different direction. I have to get back on course. I am further from my goal than I wanted to be right now.

Also, speaking with my attorney today regarding the knee, it seems that now another hearing is being requested to treat the knee, and it is not an emergency hearing. It does not look like I will be back to work anytime soon. I had really hoped I could get back at least in late June for summer reading. I am kind of bummed out. Restarting my focus on health, fitness, strengthening my body, re-losing the weight and inches is the only way I can personally regain control of a situation that is out of my control. I got hurt in February of 2009. It took 2 years and one month for them to address my neck. How long is it going to take to address the knee injury sustained from that same fall on the ice? Then how long for the low back? Frustration is rampant. It is hard to stay focused, and positive.

Reset button or is it a panic button? Suggestions? Ideas? Advice?

What have you done? What would you do?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KAMAPERRY
    Hang steady, your body is having a lot of changes, give it some time and stick to your plan. emoticon
    2983 days ago
  • MYRTLEBEACHWINS
    emoticon emoticon

    I love your purple flowers! So pretty.
    2983 days ago
  • LUNADRAGON
    Thank you Linda, those are good thoughts. Luckily I was only on the steroids 6 days - but that doesn't matter - it always boosts me 5 lbs at least and seems near impossible to remove. I am still healing, and I do have to think about that.
    emoticon
    2983 days ago
  • _LINDA
    I just can't imagine the frustration you are having to get all your health problems fixed after one fateful fall so long ago. Its outrageous, really. That you need to see a lawyer first before you can see a Dr. Just yucky. I may have a long weight list on surgery, but at least all my problems get addressed as soon as they come up!
    You do have challenges which make weight loss too much right now. You have to have some patience and wait this lengthy ride out. As soon as you are given clearance to exercise once more and you get your normal life back, then you can worry about your weight more realistically. Right now, healing should be your main focus. All you can do, really, is to carefully track your food, setting your fitness tracker to zero cardio to see what calorie range you should be in. Cardio walking only counts if you can get your HR in the target zone, which I don't imagine you can perform yet, safely.
    Also, until you are off the steroids, there is little you can do to avoid weight gain.
    So don't panic or reset, just refocus on the one area you CAN control and that is your food. I sure won't be able to do anything else when I get that awful foot surgery, so I will be watching every morsel I eat, and there is no time like the present to practice.
    Wishing you all the best. You can get through this.
    Hugs,
    Linda
    2983 days ago
  • NORASPAT
    WHOA DEBORAH, Take a deep breath and come out of the negative list to the positive list it's the only way to go.
    Your neck is improved I do beleive since you never said it was not, so I hope that is a positive. You are looking great and you know it you have the pics to show it.
    With the meds you were using that helped your body in many ways but you gained weight, you know you can lose it again if you focus.
    The weather is not helping any of us, after the winter we all need the sun. We are so much better off in that regard than many.

    I have reflux and if I drank grape cranberry I would think I had drunk battery acid. I cannot drink anything acid, even on good days so maybe the combination of meds and that has got to your stomach.
    Sorry about the legal stuff, I have nothing good to say about those issues. I hope to avoid that stuff.
    Just sit with peaches and the two of you can make a positve list i am sure of it. HUGS, Pat in Maine. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2983 days ago
  • CLAYARTIST
    hang in there...
    2983 days ago
  • WATERMELLEN
    For weight loss, I did find the Judith S Beck program set out in her book (and workbook) "The Diet Solution" very helpful . . . but only you know if now is the time, given all the other stuff you're having to deal with . . .

    Love your new wallpaper: so pretty!! Creeping phlox, right? From your garden??
    2983 days ago
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