Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Mother's Day. HUGE fail of a day as far as eating went. I went a good 700 calories over the top of my range. Yup. Do I feel bad for it? Yup. Will I do it again? Oh probably. hehe. But it won't be often. And my excuse was that it was mother's day and it's my kids and the bf's fault for ordering such a HUGE breakfast that I had no choice but to eat lest I hurt their feelings. Okay I'm not really blaming it on them but I kinda wish I could.
But I'm back on track. One day can't break me. Yesterday I worked out for almost an hour and today I plan to do the same thing. My eating is back on track as well.
Today is grocery day. I'm kind of excited but at the same time the memory of my last trip is bringing back the anxiety. This is what happened:
I decided to start making meal plans. So I went through my "Light n Tasty" cookbook and made a list of all the things I needed. There was a LOT. So I went to the grocery store excited about all the good healthy foods I was going to buy for my meals. I went down the fruit/veggie/ bread aisles and stocked up. Then proceeded to finish the rest of my list. I had all kinds of things. Whole wheat pasta, olive oil, reduced cal dressings, low cal margarine, etc etc. Well my cart started to pile up and up. I knew it was going to but I didn't think about how I was going to feel with pushing around a FULL cart. I threw on two containers of low fat philadelphia cream cheeses for the whole wheat bagels I just bought and noticed some thin b*tch staring at my full cart. I panicked and went down an aisle. I sat there for a good while wondering how I was going to get out of this store with all my food. I neared the end of the aisle and I'm pretty sure I was borderlining an anxiety attack. So I stayed in the aisle a little longer talking myself down off a ledge. I'm guessing I stood there for a good 15 minutes.. could have been longer before I felt sane enough to push on. But I did. I kept thinking "this is all HEALTHY food. It's not like my cart is loaded or even contains any chips or chocolate. I'll be okay. Who cares what they think?! I know the truth!" I did manage to get all my groceries and got the hell out of that store. Today's list won't be near that bad. And the next time I do have that big of a list I'm gonna be smart about it and break it up so that I'm not lugging around a 100 lb cart. That near breakdown isn't worth going through again.
I feel better this week than I have in a while. I'm on day 8 of no pop and I barely miss it. Even when I think about having a glass now I think about the taste and it doesn't even seem as appealing as it used to. I'm LOVING drinking tea. I didn't think I would but I'm enjoying it alot. I have more energy lately which seems odd since I'm not relying on huge amounts of pop for all my energy. We've been going for walks a lot more lately and even took the kids to the park on sunday, they usually go by themselves while we sit here and watch tv or play video/computer games. I've even been thinking about all these marathons and stuff I've been reading about other people doing. If you would have talked to me about going into a marathon 3 months ago i would have laughed in your face and said "wtf would I wanna do one of those for?" But now I'm thinking of making it a goal of mine once I start feeling better about myself and feeling okay about being out in public. I thought maybe I'd try to be realistic about it and giving myself a deadline of trying to achieve ONE marathon before I turn 35 (I'm 30). Maybe not a full marathon but like a 5k or 10k before I'm 35. I think I could do it. I know I couldn't now cuz I'm so out of shape but eventually I think I could do it.
Anyway that's it from me for now. Time to go work out. Sorry for the long blog again