40PLUSANDFIT

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Did you miss me?

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Yes, I went into a DEEP depression. It was scary. I didn't get suicidal, but I didn't care.. about anything. The job thing set me back, the six month plateau set me back, even all the training I got didn't bring ME back. I'm still a little shaky, but I'm going to give some effort.

I had to go back on my happy pills. I even told my doctor that I'm going to have to finally realize that my brain is chemically challenged. I can't survive without them. Although I try and try to get off them, I keep having to go back because I lose myself in these funks.

So, yes I managed to gain five pounds. That's not too bad considering how serious things were getting. I worked out some last Sunday, but then my husband tried to cut his foot off and that threw my schedule off again. You know it's bad when your pastor's wife is saying "You have the worst luck lately".

Anyway, the job hunt has been nothing but frustrating. The recruiter for the "job that was made for me" called back stating that someone had left and since I was second choice, I was a shoo - in. Then I heard NOTHING for three weeks. Then they called on a Friday and had to have an interview on the following Monday. We set the time, then MY boss called a meeting through that schedule so I had to reschedule. Well they replied that it wasn't going to happen anyway. The client doesn't know what they want. They want my skills but don't know that they want my skills. So being patient. Had another interview somewhere else today, but I don't know how I feel about it. It seemed rather short. But, they had called me in after stating that my pay range was too high, and I didn't have my degree. Which leads me to:

I re-enrolled in college. I have approximately less than 40 hours to complete my degree so I'm going for it. If that is what is holding me back from making decent money and automatically getting looked at for jobs, then screw it, I'm going to do it. I can sacrifice for the next two years to manage it.

So back to my health. I know my knee pain will increase dramatically if I go and do something stupid like gain all my weight back, so that's not going to happen. I'm getting back in the gym, this week, and I am going to rededicate myself to myself.

Thanks for listening. I'm going to make it back to Spark. I miss the talk/chatter and camaraderie.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TEENY_BIKINI
    Welcome back, gorgeous. You are a strong, courageous warrior. Battle on!

    emoticon
    2583 days ago
  • 5POINTED
    I'm just getting back into the swing of things after a one year hiatus, and I remember having some nice conversations with you. Wishing you the best of luck with the job hunt, as well as offering empathy with some of the things you've been going through (have been reading through your blogs). I have adult step-children as well, and my honey definitely has a little bit of the 'my kids do no wrong' syndrome. Blessings to you :)
    2603 days ago
  • PAIGESMAMA
    Glad you are back. Remember we are here for you good or bad.
    2607 days ago
  • DONNA47FMFL
    Welcome back....we did miss you. You can do this! Remember it's just one day at a time, keep going and everything will fall into place. Remember slow and steady wins the race. Good luck with finishing your degree.
    emoticon
    2607 days ago
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