So it's been a while.
What happened? Well, a few things actually..
The thing that initially sent me spirialling off.. is the hardest thing i've ever had to deal with. Three weeks after my last post, on Sept 26, 2009, my mother decided that she couldn't attend my daughter's birthday party because she was feeling down,a nd didn't want to ruin
the day for others - seriously, I love that that was the message she sent in her text letting me know she wasn't coming\ true irony there - and instead went and had a ' party' of her own. They found her at noon the next day. She had gone to her favourite hotel for "a night away" and committed suicide using large amounts of alcohol and sleeping pills. She actually overdosed on the 26th,, my daughter's first birthday.. but the coroner thought she likely died sometime in the early hours of the 27th.
Yeah, that sent me into a 6 month spiral of depression/grief/anger. Though I haven't fully gotten over the anger thing yet. I can honetly say that during that time, being active and eating right were the LAST things on my mind. i am proud to be able to say though, that I never reallyreverted to my old ways with food. In fact, I lost 10kgs. Food was still my comfort, but it was better than it could have been. Instead of a cookie, i'd have a piece of fruit.
So yeah, that takes us to april 2010. I start to come back to being me, and realize that I need to get back on track. Everything is going great, spent april getting fully back on track with healthy eating, and May working on getting active. i don't lose any more wieght during that time, but I don't gain any either. And then June comes, and with it comes the next bombshell that would forever change my life.
I was pregant.
Me. The one who was told that my daughter is a miracle, because i should neverhave been able to concieve.
I was pregnant. Again.
Okay, so .. right, dieting + pregnancy .. No.
Healthy eating + pregnancy on the other hand.. that I could do. And did. I did however have a wee problem.
See, I had to have suregery at the end of July 2010. Not really one of those optional things either. More of a " I have this surgery now or die" sort of thing. So that rather effectively killed the whole "being active" thing for the rest of the pregnancy.
I just have to say, having experienced both, modified bedrest sucks almost more than total bedrest.
But i could eat healthy! And I did! And I don't know how much i actually gained weight during the pregnancy. I neverreally lost any .. even when my son was born. I now weigh what I did this time last year. my son is two months old now, and I feel, after being gutted like a fish ( yeah, csections are a pain), that its time to try to really establish that whole being active thing as a real part of my daily life.
So, here's to hoping that no more odd curveballs come my way