Taking a Major Nose DIVE!!

Monday, May 02, 2011

Nose Dive....

Head first plunge....

Free Falling......

Sinking fast....

Headed for a major CRASH and BURN!!

That is what i feel like anyway. I just feel like nothing i do is good enough anymore. Nothing i do will get results. I had a work trip to Atlanta this past week and gained nearly 5 lbs!! They seriously served NOTHING HEALTHY and since it was a work function I could not take off and find healthy fare. I was attending a convention with over 3,000 other folks and it literally took all my time without time to spare for myself. It certainly did not help that i was so frustrated that when we went to the Atlanta Aquarium (yes, group function) and World of Coke i got slightly intoxicated on white wine. Did i ever mention i do not drink much, usually only 1 drink every couple of months? and did i mention that i was drinking on an empty stomach? and did i mention that i never made it to the World of Coke or that i was lucky my best friend was my room mate? yeah, i am not sure i would have made it back to the hotel, let alone the room, without her. passed out before i hit the pillow!! Yes, i did. emoticon

we were on the 40th floor of the weston hotel. had to walk down 40 flights of stairs due to the overcrowded elevator situation. that was fun. oh yeah, then we had to call for help. the elevator got stuck on the 28th floor with just us 2 in it.... fun, fun. fun. security had to come and free us. i was totally laughing the whole time, jumping up and down trying to get the darn thing to move.

i have a nightly eating problem. after dinner i go right into snacking and i have to stop. i have to!! i know it now and i know it when i am doing it but it does not help. i am creeping myself out. i need a mental make over big time!! i need motivation. i need a new attitude!!!! i need a new job.

it doesn't help that i can't quit.... i have a huge trip planned in june and need to pay for it. besides... once you get used to a certain pay range, it is not easy to cut back as much as i would have to find a new job -- entry level will never pay me near what i am making. i am just so sick of the crappy work ethics of others, they HAVE NONE!!

so i get home and try to DEstress... dinner and snacking!!! i eat until my stomach is a tad over full. most of it is fruit and huge salads, but i still feel like i am overdoing it. i stay in my calorie range and i still get no results. i have tried high on the calorie range and low. but still nothing.

i am still going to the gym 3 or 4 days a week, but it does not feel the same. it does not feel effective regardless of how much i sweat and huff and puff.

i am going to try harder to be active once again. i am sorry to all my friends for being absent for so long. i feel like my absence may be a part of my problem. i need this interaction and all of you. knowing others are in this with me is a huge help for me. time is just a major issue for me.

i am so far behind on my weight loss goals it is depressing me even more. march 28th was my goal for 175 lbs. it is now may 2nd and i have also missed my april goal of 165lbs. i am 2 months behind. 3 months i have been stuck in the mud!! i have had zero movement in 3 months other than up a few, down a few. emoticon

well, i guess that is enough crying for one night. i have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.. and not particularly a fun one either. but it will end with me at the gym. perhaps i can, if for one day only, not go into snack mode after dinner tomorrow. that is my goal. i will not end the day with a full belly tomorrow. well, that is the goal anyway.

thanks to anyone out there who is listening.. you are all quite incredible.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hi, Did you pick yourself up yet? About the after dinner eating, I have (had) the same problem... How I sort of fixed it. I went to Google, printed off a picture of a clock at 7:30, and put it on the Fridge... NOW, I look at THAT clock, and if it's earlier than the that, I can have something to eat, if it's after that, no food. And, because we tend to eat a little later, we're not usually standing up from dinner until almost 7, so I'm not interested in eating just yet. Has worked fairly well for me, something to think about.
    I did laugh about the wine and friend, and elevator, and sounds like you had a bang up time in Hotlanta!!!
    You are doing the right things, know that. STOP worrying about the goals. You have 1 goal, to become more fit okay, 2, AND healthy. One foot in front of the other, stop tripping, we all go through this, it will be fine...

    2547 days ago
    don't be so hard on yourself, just keep doing some kind of workout and watch those calories while you are back home now, and drink your water... things will get better, stress is not good for ya, take time to settle back in and refocus on your goals..we can't change yesterday, but tomorrow starts a new day.
    take care. emoticon
    2549 days ago
    Did you fly to and from Atlanta? How long have you been home? I just wanted to mention that, for some reason I do not understand, flying almost always makes me retain water. Even if I'm really careful with what I eat when I travel, I still seem to gain a couple of pounds (and then lose them within about 3-4 days). So if your weight is up a few (or 5 pounds) after your trip, I'll bet a couple of those are "airplane pounds", and another is a sodium pound. Destress, eat healthily, drink lots of water and your weight will probably drop within the next week.
    2549 days ago
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