Maintaining Focus

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Generally, Koi fish symbolism came from the Chinese legend of the Dragon Gate where the Koi has triumphantly swam up a waterfall and transformed to a dragon afterward. Other traits Koi fish stands for are determination, perseverance, and ambition. This is because the Koi has persevered and worked hard to overcome a great obstacle (the waterfall) in order to achieve its goal, which is to be a magnificent dragon. The fact that the Koi swam against the current and even up the waterfall could be seen as non-conformism and willingness to go against the established norm. The triumph of the fish to go up the waterfall can also be seen as a symbol and encouragement to surpass expectations and to reach the impossible, while the actual act of going against the current could be seen as a form of bravery.

That is exactly how I feel sometimes, like a little flashy fish swimming up stream...sometimes running into a rock or trying to escape a huge bird trying to devour me--sometimes I have to stop and regroup, but no matter what I will continue to swim upstream so that one day I will accomplish my goal to become a dragon. I have felt so strongly for this metaphor that I even have an elaborate tattoo on my shoulder reminding me of my process.

I was pretty upset the last time I posted, but I'm better now. I basically told my boyfriend that we are basically on hold until I get back and I won't be talking to him at all. I know it may seem harsh, but I don't need it here. We will be ok. If not, at least I'm ok now. I'm staying within my calories and other requirements for the most part--it's hard to gauge because SparkPeople's Nutrition page doesn't take into account if you workout, which I know I burn a large amount of calories first thing in the morning. So sometimes I do go over because I'm starving--but I've never went over fat and carb intake which I'm proud of.

It's been another consistent week with my workout routine except I increased my weight on leg day (Wednesday)...I squatted 100 pounds 6-10 times for 4 sets...and I'm still feeling it today. Hopefully I will be better tomorrow morning for my long run. Cause I'm running no matter what. I'm also going to weigh in and do my measurements to see where I am at and if I need to tweak anything to get more progress.
It's all getting easier despite my haters giving me a hard time for being so strict, getting the "OMG you're on deployment, it's ok to smoke/not exercise/eat fattening crap--no one is forcing you not to". Like all of this should be considered a privilege or be lazy, nasty, and careless of your body.
They will learn one day.
Also I received my Jamaican Black Castor Oil, Coconut Oil, and Aloe Vera gel....HUGE difference in my hair since incorporating these into my hair regimen. No tangles, no hard crusty hair, decreasing breakage, and my hair is crazy soft. I also have the Split Ender too, but I haven't had the patience to try it yet, lol.
Start college classes tomorrow. Yay. Also looking at Careers when I get out that I think I would be good at.
That's about it, just trying to stay focused on the things that are within my control.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hey, have you tried to manually enter in your workouts in the fitness tracker? This would help if you know exactly how many calories you are burning on average since it will up your calories intake to insure you are not going under for progress.

    I like you attitude, Lady and how you've got your motivation right on your shoulder to remind you that your struggle for a healthy body is a brave and good thing. emoticon with your dedication to keep to your workouts and eating habits regardless of where you are deployed.

    Happy knowing you have found some inner peace over the boyfriend issue- stay strong and safe my friend.
    3596 days ago
    It sounds like you are doing a good job. Keep up the good work!
    3596 days ago
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