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Week 10, Day 64; OUCH

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

154. emoticon

I didn't weigh in last Wednesday because I was pre-period and feeling sh*tty. Feeling no better today as I'm well into that time. I used TOM as my excuse to indulge in a lot more starchy foods (hello bagels and pizza), as well as to track less (good-bye accountability). Well, the scale had not very nice things to say to me. Yes, I'm bummed. I also feel back "on", as I sit here noshing on my breakfast of oats, flax and strawberries.

I'm not going to say I don't care about this 3 lb gain in the last 2 weeks, but I'm not all broken up either. Sure, I ate more than I should have. I was having a pity party and who doesn't eat at a party? emoticon Did I mention my sister dropped off a bag of chocolates from my parents Easter weekend? Thanks guys. emoticon Well, no one forced them down my throat. (And they were like orgasms for my mouth and I wont feel bad about that.)

Back to more water, more freggies, more exercise.

I did learn that PMS requires bread, and I should really modify my expectations during this time.

Onto the good news...!

Today I am flying to Vegas to visit my BFF. He lives in an apartment complex that has both a gym and a pool. I'm packing my bathing suit, my sports bras and sneakers. Yes, I'm taking advantage of this. BFF even talked about us going hiking. This is a great opportunity to experience the local Vegas scene and stay on track with my personal goals.

I'm hoping in the next week I can make up for my 2 week setback. I can tell it is going to take me some time to get into a lifestyle that will work for me long-term but that is what I want-- something I can live with, maintain a healthy life at a healthy weight.

The things I DO feel good about:
My size 8 slacks still fit.
Feeling sexier.
Having a partner that treats me great.

Things I could be doing better:
Getting enough exercise.
Tracking when not at work.

I'm not happy that I let my mood swings, hormonal changes, whatever, have their way with my motivation (what happened to keeping my eye on the prize?!) but it happened. I'm not trying to downplay that. In the past I might have given up, thought myself a failure. I'm one to learn lessons the hard way. I have a history of binge eating and, erm, other destructive behaviors. I just want to be normal.

My sister and I were discussing last night about how neither of us has "that much" weight to lose. I think I might have gotten to about 30 lbs overweight at my highest, I think she might have gotten to about 50 or 60 lbs over. Currently I'm about 14 lbs over what is considered "healthy". So clearly not a whole lot. Yet these pounds keep creeping in on me (I've been down this road before). This tells me I haven't found the right balance.

I will find my balance. We all can.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KALISWALKER
    You do have to eat chocolate to get rid of it. You are doing well with your weight and can indulge once in awhile. How was LV? Enjoy the weekend!
    2633 days ago
  • CZARINA_TV
    Do you use the Blackberry SP app? Maybe that'd help you track outside of work?
    2638 days ago
  • DEE0973
    you'll get there. The good thing is you're looking for balance where you can achieve your goals and still enjoy the things you like. I don't think you need to hear anything in particular b/c you already know what to do and just wanted to vent.
    2642 days ago
  • BRANEWME
    At least you're back to eating healthy and exercising. We all lose sight of our goals once in a while, but as long as we don't veer that far off course, we will meet our goals... slowly but surely. You can do it!
    2642 days ago
  • CHUBRUB3
    emoticon

    2642 days ago
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