I didn't weigh in last Wednesday because I was pre-period and feeling sh*tty. Feeling no better today as I'm well into that time. I used TOM as my excuse to indulge in a lot more starchy foods (hello bagels and pizza), as well as to track less (good-bye accountability). Well, the scale had not very nice things to say to me. Yes, I'm bummed. I also feel back "on", as I sit here noshing on my breakfast of oats, flax and strawberries.
I'm not going to say I don't care about this 3 lb gain in the last 2 weeks, but I'm not all broken up either. Sure, I ate more than I should have. I was having a pity party and who doesn't eat at a party?
Did I mention my sister dropped off a bag of chocolates from my parents Easter weekend? Thanks guys.
Well, no one forced them down my throat. (And they were like orgasms for my mouth and I wont feel bad about that.)
Back to more water, more freggies, more exercise.
I did learn that PMS requires bread, and I should really modify my expectations during this time.
Onto the good news...!
Today I am flying to Vegas to visit my BFF. He lives in an apartment complex that has both a gym and a pool. I'm packing my bathing suit, my sports bras and sneakers. Yes, I'm taking advantage of this. BFF even talked about us going hiking. This is a great opportunity to experience the local Vegas scene and stay on track with my personal goals.
I'm hoping in the next week I can make up for my 2 week setback. I can tell it is going to take me some time to get into a lifestyle that will work for me long-term but that is what I want-- something I can live with, maintain a healthy life at a healthy weight.
The things I DO feel good about:
My size 8 slacks still fit.
Having a partner that treats me great.
Things I could be doing better:
Getting enough exercise.
Tracking when not at work.
I'm not happy that I let my mood swings, hormonal changes, whatever, have their way with my motivation (what happened to keeping my eye on the prize?!) but it happened. I'm not trying to downplay that. In the past I might have given up, thought myself a failure. I'm one to learn lessons the hard way. I have a history of binge eating and, erm, other destructive behaviors. I just want to be normal.
My sister and I were discussing last night about how neither of us has "that much" weight to lose. I think I might have gotten to about 30 lbs overweight at my highest, I think she might have gotten to about 50 or 60 lbs over. Currently I'm about 14 lbs over what is considered "healthy". So clearly not a whole lot. Yet these pounds keep creeping in on me (I've been down this road before). This tells me I haven't found the right balance.
I will find my balance. We all can.