Potato chips, 5 oz.= 780 cal., and it wasn't even fun
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
I was in a funk, too tired, a little rebellious about easter candy sitting around, so I had some chips. I was trying to fill some void,' lookin for satisfaction in all the wrong places'. It wasn't working, so I ate more. As I ate, feeling the rebellious streak being self satisfied, I realized, I wasn't even enjoying them. Greasy, salty and really unsatisfying, I thought, as I continued to munch. I began to realize I'd rather be munching on a carrot! Crunchy and tasty! My stubborn streak stuffed a few more chips in my mouth in defiance. I had no idea how many calories I was consuming for sure, I'd started with the 13 chips that equalled 15o calories. I made the mistake of eating them out of the bag. When I was done with the 15 I kept going, I quit counting after 26 and decided to eat until I was done. I haven't eaten chips like this for close to a year. Sitting at the table, my kids watching my binge (they'd had chips already and squash and oranges and bananas and cottage cheese and easter candy..it was a strange snack day). I decided to have an orange. Then, I felt satisfied. My defiant self refused to give in to the carrot (I LOVE raw carrots!). I knew, that would be my last time to binge on chips. This defiant piece of me, this rebel, it is just something I have to figure out how to work with, this was definitely not the answer. When I went to log and read the ounces on the bag which I ate over half of, I was STUNNED! 780 calories! No wonder I gained so much weight over the years! I've polished off a whole bag before, I've eaten whatever I wanted for most of my life. I've only really started paying attention in the past few years. I feel like I'm resisting crossing 200# (for the 3rd time in 3 years). Before this binge, I was 201.5. Weight has been a form of protection from attention. I'm very big busted, I've gotten attention I didn't want from that, bad attention. I'm hoping now that I'm older I won't get that kind of attention. I was string bean skinny until 27, I drank whipping cream to keep weight on. Stess made me throw up most of the food I ate (uncorrected pyloric stenosis), relaxation techniques and nutrition education stopped the problem around 30, but I was left with the habit of eating huge amounts of whatever I wanted. If I hadn't been incredibly active, I would have blown up earlier. Now I'm learning, for the first time in my life about portions. Potato chips just aren't worth it. Rice crackers are just as good to me. Now I know, reach for the rice crackers.