What a freakin' day.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Well I woke up and went for a run...30 minutes into it I realize that I am dehydrated, my sides are splitting and I'm cramping up pretty bad. I'm absolutely floored by this because I've drank a gallon of water everyday for a month...I know I went to the bathroom once in the middle of the night and right before I ran but seriously? So I ended up walking the last few minutes until I knew I needed to stop.
Then I get into the shop and check my email just to see one from my 'boyfriend' basically stating that he can't handle the distance between us and it's hard to maintain communication, and that he can't see us trying to be in a long term relationship...but he still wants to support me and wants to hear from me. He hasn't answered my phone calls for the past two weeks and he still wants to hear from me and support me? I told him I'll talk to him when I get back, for good. Maybe.
The rest of day just sucked cause I generally hate being here and it sucks.
I would like to apply some stress buster tool or something like that...but all I feel is numb. Well my stomach is still woozy from the run I figured...that's about it. I can't feel anything, I don't know what to do.
Is this is what I deserve by being a Marine and deploying to Afghanistan? I'm sick of sacrificing my personal life for this. I'm pretty sure 4 deployments is enough and I don't have to prove anything else to anyone. I'm done.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Keeping you in my positive thoughts and prayers that you find your inner peace and what works best for you. Stay strong.
    -Suzy emoticon
    3596 days ago
    I'm sending love and prayers you way. Four deployments is incredible. Thank you.
    3599 days ago

    You have to do what is right for you!
    3599 days ago
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    None of us can truly know what you're feeling and going through, but I'm sure that all of us who are reading your blog care deeply.

    I'm here for you, with love and prayers and gratitude for your 'above and beyond' service to this country.
    3600 days ago
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