Friday, April 22, 2011
I am trying again for the hundredth time, at least it feels that way. I keep thinking back to high school when I bought the new Richard Simmons weight loss book, can't remember its name. Doing the exercises in front of the tv, thinking oh yea I am going to get this weight off once and for all, be skinny and happy. I laugh now thinking about that day, cause I think I was around 120 pounds and I thought I was heavy. So many years ago but so many I told you so's..at least that are in my head. Yea you want to lose weight, remember Richard Simmons.... how did that work for you? It didn't..
The little voice in my head that I fight so much, reminding me...yea last time you said you had this beat, remember? Then I start remembering, and think is it possible...that it's just not possible.
This point in time, I've found Spark. Which I think is great, and fun to navigate around. I'm up to speed on my exercise, but can't seem to look at and study the food part...maybe it seems to rigid. You know how they say diets don't work...
I read women food and god, and it helped for a little while, maybe I should read it again. I did lose some weight, then I got too confident and ate a lot and thought wow I can eat as long as I swim three times a week, then all of a sudden I had gained back what I lost +1.
This time I have joined a chic new workout place, have a trainer for the first time in my life.....and spark. I remember all the times that I tried and failed, but I also have to remember the times I tried and won, albeit for a short while. I need to think about the way I think about eating, my meals, my life and where I tend to hit roadblocks. Maybe if I can do that...I can stop remembering and start designing my body into what it was meant to be instead of a history book.