HEALTHYASHLEY
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Compliments, parties and dancing

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Monday, April 18, 2011

This past weekend was super busy for us and I don't know what is going suddenly in our social calendar but we are getting invitations all over the place for dinners, parties, BBQ's etc. I feel like we have something every single weekend from now to Memorial Day. Weekends are my only time to unwind so I do find it a bit unnerving.
Friday we went to dinner with a very old friend of mine and his girlfriend/soon to be fiancée so he tells me. This was the first time A and he met and the first time I met her so it was fun. She is from Vietnam originally and she made us a traditional dinner. OMG was it delicious and healthy. Tons of fresh veggies and herbs. She and I hit it off right away and had so much to chat about it made me so happy that we got along so well. Half way through the meal my weight loss came up. My friend hadn't seen me since I lost the weight. She looked at me and said "I can not even imagine you used to be overweight". emoticon emoticon emoticon
When people say things like that it still surprises me. Maybe because I am so very aware of my flaws. I know the number on the scale so to me not being overweight is still such a foreign concept. I am a good read of BS so I can tell when someone's compliment is disingenuine and she meant it.
Saturday we went to a birthday party for a friend of mine. He turned 41 and I made him princess cupcakes. They were a hit and I was informed they scarfed them down at 3 AM and everyone raved about them. These are pink champagne cupcakes and you actually mix champagne into the batter and the frosting. (PM me for the recipe, I am not posting it on here and listening to lectures about how it is not healthy) I wanted to add some of that sparkle sugar for extra pizzazz but was just too tired to hunt it down. It was still a statement and they all got a huge kick out of it. I am old so we left the party at a respectable 1 AM before I turned into a pumpkin. Best part is I had one bite of a cupcake to try it and that is it!
The funniest part of the evening was that they managed to cram a DJ and about 60 people into this tiny apartment with a fog machine and lights. Hysterical. A and I salsa danced for about 2 hours and I was good and tired but had much better endurance than I used too. People are usually surprised I dance so well, especially to latin music. I always here people telling A how awesome of a dancer I am in Spanish and it makes me feel proud. The most interesting observation I made that night was there was a small group of women that came in together who were morbidly obese. I could see on their faces how self conscious they felt and nervous. It hurt my heart to see it because I could so identify with them. Heck, I was them 6 months ago. When I was so huge I would have been miserable that whole night. I wouldn't have eaten a thing, would have been afraid to try and push through the crowd. Afraid to dance. It reminded me how much I have gotten my life back and how I wouldn't trade this for anything and how much I want to get to my happy size. I am so happy I did this for me and this weekend was a great affirmation of all of that. That I am worth it.

PS It makes me sad that I actually have to add a disclaimer to this blog. NO I am not judging people for being obese. I was making an observation about my own obesity and identifying with someone who was going through something I had been through. Jumping to conclusions and judgements is dangerous for all of us.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LADY_KATHY
    thought about starting a cupcake business? LOL ohhh to have the time.

    •*´¨) † God's Blessings
    ¸.• ¸.•*´¨)¸.•*¨) †
    (¸.• ♥ Kathy ♥
    3192 days ago
  • NEENSTER1
    The cupcakes look delicious. Compliments emoticon You are doing wonderful pretty girl. emoticon
    3194 days ago
  • RAVENSONG37
    Sounds like a fantastic weekend and really great self-observations!
    3195 days ago
  • BELLALUCIA
    Glad u had a great time. I'm quite a dancer myself!
    3195 days ago
  • MRS_GLAM44
    emoticon
    3195 days ago
  • MRS_GLAM44
    emoticon
    3195 days ago
  • CUDDLYPOLARBEAR
    Sounds like a great weekend, cupcakes look so yummy
    3196 days ago
  • MYADOG1
    Super impressed you only had 1 bite of cupcakes, inspires me that maybe I can resist the Easter candy! Good for you. I know what you mean I see people struggling and wish I could just tell them about Spark. Glad you enjoyed yourself. Send me that cupcake recipe if you get a chance! emoticon emoticon
    3196 days ago
  • CORKY982
    I would love that recipe if you want to inbox it to me!
    3197 days ago
  • TERRYT55
    Lovely cupcakes.........happy everyone loved them. Isn't it terrific being comfortable in your own skin? Wonderful to dance and walk across a room full of people and not feel like you are being judged? To dance with abandon not worrying about who is watching?

    No disclaimer needed. When I see someone who is overweight and obviously uncomfortable I want so badly to talk to them.....to tell them it can be done. I usually don't......don't want to make them feel worse.

    Thanks for the great blog!
    3198 days ago
  • MAGGIEROSEBOWL
    Do you find yourself wanting to go up to the morbidly obese people you encounter and tell them, "I was you, just a year ago or two years ago or whatever?" Cause I do. I don't do it, but it is my impulse. I want to inspire them, to motivate them, to tell them "IT CAN BE DONE!" But I know that wouldn't have worked on me, and more than likely will be met with disdain. Plus I am not very assertive or out-going and am quite shy. So I never do it. But I think about it--and sometimes I wish I had the nerve to do it. Ah well, when they're ready, they'll do something. Not before. It has to come from within, I have known that for years. My son needs help. I want to help him, but all I can do it show him my example and hope that somebody the light will go on for him the way it did for me. Good job on the salsa dancing! I bet you looked GREAT!
    3198 days ago
  • LAURIE-RN
    Sounds like a wonderful weekend. I understand your introspection about how you would have felt 6 months ago compared to now. I felt that way while dancing at a wedding in November. I am so proud of you! You are doing a great job!

    Laurie
    3199 days ago
  • LUCKYDOGFARM
    the best part of the blog, YOU ARE WORTH IT!!
    3199 days ago
  • ERIKA05
    Empathy is a really beautiful quality - I can't imagine that anyone would feel that you were picking on the women you described. However, I do I often underestimate people's capacity to take offense. emoticon

    I have a friend who lost a great deal of weight a few years ago. I'm not trying to lose nearly as much, but I was nonetheless really touched when she told me that she understood the changes I was trying to make, and how discouraged I must feel sometimes, but that I shouldn't let this take me off track. I think she had noticed that I was having a bad week and getting down on myself and wanted to give me a shot in the arm - and it worked!
    3200 days ago
  • NUTS4NUTELLA
    1. What beautiful cupcakes! I can't believe you only had one bite. I'm so proud of you! It is hard to resist such delicious treats, especially when you're the one making them.
    2. Yaaaay awesome compliments!
    3. I am so glad you danced your butt off at the party. It sounds like you had lots of fun!
    emoticon
    3201 days ago
  • KTTAYLOR21
    I am about to sparkmail you about that recipe. I don't know of any other avenue to contact you.

    You having to do a disclaimer is hilarious. People always make assumptions. I understood exactly why you pointed out the young ladies. Your statement following, clearly explained why you mentioned them. Congrats on your wonderful progress!!!

    Awesome Ashley at it again!!!
    3201 days ago
  • NANHBH
    Ash,

    Love the comment about your endurance to dance for several hours! You are ROCKIN' IT, Sista!
    3201 days ago
  • IBSHAUN
    So glad you had a good weekend and those cupcakes look delicious!!
    3201 days ago
  • MADEMCHE
    So glad you had a great weekend! I feel the same way. Catch and I only get a so much time together. And when I have to share him with other people every weekend it gets a bit tiring. You will have to have a relaxing weekend on the books soon! The cupcakes looked awesome! So glad you had fun and danced! Love dancing. Such a fun way to exercise!
    3201 days ago
  • ZANNACHAN
    I can definitely understand how a full social calendar can be really tiring, but it sounds like you had a wonderful time! And whoo hoo for the compliment!

    I love those cupcakes! It doesn't bother me that they aren't healthy; we don't have to be healthy 100% of the time. I aim for making healthy choices most of the time--the 80/20 rule is a good guideline for me because it means that I'm making a difference and being healthy most of the time without feeling punished by it. So, yeah, have the occasional cupcake... especially if there'll be salsa dancing afterward!
    3201 days ago
  • COOKWITHME65
    Glad to hear you had a great weekend. I love dancing also. Those cupcakes look awesome.
    3201 days ago
  • KRAWRS
    Man, sounds like you go to some really rockin parties! I knew what you meant about the other ladies. You caught my feelings, past and present, perfectly. It sucks feeling that way, but I'm glad you are moving past that! Hopefully they will someday too.
    3201 days ago
  • OJIBWEEQUAY
    pass the icing PLEASE! Yum!
    3201 days ago
  • SERENEART
    Those cupcakes are hot!!! I don't want the recipe there might be too much attraction to spark and fireworks....I might explode.

    LOL!


    Tha
    nks for sharing your
    wonderful weekend!


    3201 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/18/2011 9:44:04 PM
  • KERSTIN814
    I am so happy for you! You are so funny, you are complaining about have too much social life! I know how you feel though. I work full time, commute about 1 3/4 to 2 hours each way to work. It takes a mule team to get me out of the house on weekends, though usually I am glad I did. DH is retired so he is bored and complaining we don't do enough. I think everyone, sadly, wrongly, judge people by their weight. When I see someone who is severely overweight I know I judge them. Then I have to stop and say, well yeah, but you are 100 lbs overweight yourself. I do feel selfconcious, I dread wedding and family invitations. I am sick of being overweight. This is going to stop now.
    3201 days ago
  • TISHA80
    emoticon It sounds like you had a lot of fun and those cupcakes look yummy! :)
    3201 days ago
  • ALOFA0509

    Girl you are HOT STUFF!!!!!! the cupcakes look divine emoticon ...
    3201 days ago
  • ROCKMAN6797
    Holy moley, I am tired and I only had to read about what you did this weekend!
    Great that you had a good time and truly enjoy reading your thoughts.
    Thank you for sharing!
    3201 days ago
  • SCAZARES39
    Loved the blog! Glad you had a good time with frineds and got to dance the night away! Life is great!
    3201 days ago
  • GIANTMICROBE
    I want those cupcakes. My birthday is May 5. emoticon
    3202 days ago
  • GINA180847
    It has always been my belief that we are our own harshest judges and people pick up on our own bad feelings about ourselves. Recently I went to a baby shower with about 20 guests and a fantastic meal was provided. I was careful to do some portion control and scarfed it all down slowly to savor, but the 10 hugely obese ladies left a lot of food on their plates and I thought "How sad is that?" In a culture where people are so poor to leave food seems ridiculous so why did they take too much? I felt bad that they were all so uncomfortable but also left wondering.
    3202 days ago
  • FLY0NTHEWAL1
    I'm so glad you had a great weekend. Those cupcakes look DELISH!!
    3202 days ago
  • LESLIES537
    Those cupcakes are too CUTE!!! I don't think I could've stopped at just one bite!! WTG! Dance your little booty off, girl! And i do mean LITTLE! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3202 days ago
  • GRACEISENUF
    You make me want to dance! The cupcakes look and sound yummo. Glad you had a good weekend and made a new friend that you can relate too. Sounds like a great time.

    emoticon
    3202 days ago
  • NMK1980
    I glean so much from reading your blog posts- the good and the bad stuff. Thank you for being so open about your life and experiences. They inspire me every day!
    3202 days ago
  • RIGBY31
    I completely understand your disclaimer. Blogs are to reflect you and your journey. You have a good heart and I wouldn't think of you judging. And look at you, salsa dancing! Muy bueno!
    3202 days ago
  • ECONLADY
    I think the dancing burned off that bite of cupcake. You did great!
    3202 days ago
  • HIKETOHEIGHTS
    I love to dance and it is a great workout! Your cupcakes are fabulous!
    3202 days ago
  • SUSIEWHITE1109
    I love your blog -- it is so inspiring to read about you and others of us who are "getting our lives" back through healthier eating and exercising! It is so fun to be able to "join in" all the activities that we used to sit out because of our weight!

    Way to go!!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3202 days ago
  • MAMID1017
    There is nothing better than getting a compliment from a total stranger.
    Congratulations on your hard work!
    3202 days ago
  • TREASURINGLIFE
    Sounds like an awesomely hectic weekend! :) And your testimony to the then and now is reassuring for all of us. This journey isn't easy, by any means, but it is WORTH IT. Period!

    Have a GREAT day! :)

    - Michelle
    3202 days ago
  • CALIKIKI
    YAY sounds like it was a fabulous evening.
    3202 days ago
  • KAMAPERRY
    This is such a awesome testimony to the changes you have made. All that hard work has paid off, enjoy, you deserve it!
    3202 days ago
  • KATHLOW
    I'm so glad you had a great time! yay for parties :-)
    3202 days ago
  • CRAZYDOGLADYBO
    Awesome, dancing for 2 hours! WooHoo!

    Remember, you are allowed to decline some invitations.
    3202 days ago
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