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Sunday, April 17, 2011

I was texting my fiance once again & all of a sudden it felt like I had an epiphany. At this moment he really is my biggest fan & I love him soo much for that! When I traveled this road back in '05, we weren't doing so well & I didn't really have his support. Now he is awesome. The reality is that he believes in me more than I believe in myself sometimes & that should be motivation enough for anyone!
I was telling him how I think I'm finally going to win this thing & even though he motivates me, I have to learn to motivate myself even when I feel like I don't know which way is up sometimes.
I'm just so ready to shed this fat suit for good and get my real body back. It's so discouraging to see my stomach sometimes with the folds, lines, creases, marks. That bottom belly hang runs me ragged when I have to put on bottoms on top of it & its like an extra booty in the front. I absolutely hate that! The still pregnant look has got to go. I'm tired of focusing on losing weight, I've been doing this unsuccessfully for years now. I really have to ask myself, how important is this?? There is no sense in complaining about any of it if I'm not dedicated enough to change it. The sad part is, only I can change it!
I accept this & I realize change will not happen overnight. However; if I continue to use the knowledge that I have & stop dwelling so much on what I'm doing, I will prevail. Probably sooner than I expect. emoticon emoticon
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