Cadbury Eggs and Fritos will not help me find balance in my personal relationships
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The last two weeks has been an exercise in communicating to my husband and my best friend what I need. My husband tends to want me to take the initiative and then happily follows along. So I've been trying to be very specific about what I need, even though it's hard for me to verbalize.
My best friend is the opposite. He's on his schedule and has an order of importance to events. If something's not on his radar (like if I'm having a bad day), it will never make it into the discussion unless I insert it. So I've been trying to be vocal about things before it gets to the point I feel ignored.
Enter the last two days. Two days of eating junk and not working out like I want to. Time to figure out what's going on. And tonight it hits me. I can make the effort to communicate what I need. But at some point there needs to be a balance with an attempt on the other side of my closest relationships. I feel like I'm the only one trying. So what do I do? Eat, of course.
Will cadbury eggs give me perspective?
Will a mocha try to make me feel loved?
Will Fritos make me feel I'm worth the effort of the people I love most?
Kind of ridiculous when I look at it typed out, but this is really what I'm doing. So tonight, I'm going to have a cup of tea and journal. And tomorrow, I am going to control what I can: I can eat well, I can work out hard and I can love the people in my life unconditionally without compromising myself.