This will be a more positive blog than previous blogs have been.
I have been cooking! And I’m loving it. Tonights dinner was amazing but I forgot to take a picture of it!! I made salmon with pesto butter and sweet potato risotto. Oh my goodness yummy! I find all of the recipes I do on spark-recipes and to be honest taking time to make these meals and the process of it makes me enjoy it more and helps curb other cravings during the day and night. It took a long time to make dinner tonight and it was filling and delicious.
I guess I realized I do have an obsession with food and my way of trying to incorporate that into my life. I love food and I especially love to try to make new things I have never made before that are also full of nutrition. I love salmon and the healthy fats I know are also especially good to have the week that I am PMSing. I have been trying to incorporate more carbohydrates so having brown rice with dinner is a huge step for me. Another wonderful dinner we had this week was a boneless sirloin steak with roasted asparagus seasoned with seasalt and garlic, and HOMEMADE mashed potatoes from red russet potatoes.
I’m very into simple cooking, very few ingredients, easy and quick to make. I boiled two small potatoes after cutting them into a few pieces. They boiled for about 25 minutes and then I simply took them out of the pot, put them in a bowl, added ¼ cup of soy milk and 1 tbsp of butter and mashed! Delicious! The steak was outstanding and the asparagus I am literally ADDICTED to asparagus.
So basically I’m trying something new, experimenting with foods and enjoying the fact that I can cook healthy, nutritious meals that will fill my belly but benefit my body. My hope is to try lentil soup sometime this week. I bought lentils and have a good collection of vegetables right now so I am going to attempt that possibly Thursday for dinner. Last night was tilapia seasoned with sea salt and parsley, with butternut squash ravioli from trader joes. I’ve also discovered anything can be eaten within reason. Those ravioli were about 250 calories a serving so we each had a serving with our tilapia and it was a delicious well balanced meal. It’s OKAY to include a form of pasta into my meals. As long as I am not deep frying anything and I always measure with measuring cups, that is something I will never get over. I also am meticulous about serving sizes. Each of us had 4 ounces of salmon and it really puts perspective on restaurant meals. It truly does because you would get about 12 ounces of salmon at Outback Steakhouse or Longhorns, which is way way too much.
So that is my positivity poking through right now. I also wanted to update and say I RAN 7 MILES!!!!!!!!!!! I hadn’t really done a good run outside in a year. I did the reservoir which was 5 miles on a warm day about a month ago but felt I didn’t challenge myself enough. So on Monday it was 75 degrees and sunny, so I drove to the boardwalk and had an hour long playlist set up. I decided I would run one way for 30 minutes then turn around. When I finished, I had been using the iMapmyRun app and saw I had run 7 miles in an hour! I was SHOCKED and so proud. I remember when that boardwalk was hard for me to run. I remember barely being able to do A QUARTER of it. I ran the entire thing AND another towns boardwalk and back! It felt exilerating and as I run I tried to give myself some therapy. I’ve been having self-esteem issues and some food issues as well and tried to use the run as a meditation/therapy session. As I ran I told myself to feel my muscles move, feel the strength within my body. I focused on my feet hitting the boards and the sun on my face. I listened to the beat of the music in my ears and actually pictured the 70 pounds falling away from me as I ran. It sounded silly, but this was something I’d waited a year to do, to run this distance and feel incredible about it. I pictured pounds falling off me like pieces of an iceburg falling away. I pictured my muscles toned and tight as I ran, carrying me. I pictured my heart bright red and pumping, full of oxygen and blood pulsing it through my body to my limbs that were carrying me. And you know it helped. I felt better about myself. I could have taken a 5 hour nap after, haha but I finished and actually walked around with a smile on my face so wide that someone said “Good job you look proud of yourself”. I was. I was PROUD of myself. And that’s a huge accomplishment for me. I feel like all of my self esteem issues no longer have to do with my weight. My pants are falling off me, my clothes are big and they’re size 8’s. At a size 6 I want to punch myself for ever feeling fat ESPECIALLY when I used to have to look for 22’s at the back of the rack. I actually get mad at myself for being such an ungrateful selfish person who can’t even appreciate how far I’ve come. So becoming a better cook and better runner is my first step in loving myself. I plan to run the boards once a week this spring and summer, increasing my time and using the weeks in between to do interval training and my usual cardio and strength training. And this fall I want to find a half marathon somewhere nearby to do. Because I can do it and SHOULD do it and should appreciate the healthy body god has enabled me to create through healthy life changes and hard work. The sweat on the floor around the elliptical at the gym this morning was gross but somewhere inside me I said “blood, sweat, and tears. 70 pounds gone” in my head and smiled because I knew I’m NEVER going back.
Okay I sound like oprah. Anyway, I’ll update everyone on my new adventures in the kitchen as they progress. Thank you everyone for your support you’re amazing.