Monday, April 11, 2011
It has been 7 months since my last blog entry. During that time I have managed to gain 10 pounds, stop working out all together, eating like a person who can have whatever they want, and still think it will miraculously all come off overnight. Well, just because 3000 calories a day sounds like a good thing at the time (no not really, but when you don't care, you don't care).
I have started doing the turbo fire workouts. I did one week at the regular schedule, totally missed the "not flexible or in shape to do this workout yet? Then do the work up to it workout". So I was going to get back on to the work up to it workout yesterday. Well, lo and behold we had tornado sirens going off and big storms come through and my teenage girl is a wee bit terrified of storms, so I had to follow her to the basement instead of staying in the living room to do my workout. So I never did get it in yesterday. And, that made me mad. Not at her of course, but at the weather because it caused this. I can't sacrifice my child when she needs a strong parental figure and a voice of calm when she is feeling scared. So I planned to do it today. I only worked until noon today, so I figured I had time to get it in, no problem.
Started a day with Special K high protien, which while filling tastes remarkably like the box it comes out of. Went to work, punched out at noon, stopped at the store to get high fiber bars for the boy (he poops bricks without them and I hate plunging. Who knew that was a square hole?) and was hungry so stopped at Subway for lunch. Got a pizza sub (local favorite, pepperoni with the meatball sauce) and a bowl of the cheddar broccoli soup. Already I am feeling a little sting of guilt about that because I know the sub can't be that good for me and the soup has to be borderline at best. So it comes to dinner time, the only thing I have done so far today is swap some books at the library and try to take a nap while my cat is going bonkers. No nap, so aspirin it is to get rid of the sinus headache. Get dinner going, thin cut pork chops, saffron rice and macaroni and cheese cause the kids don't like saffron rice. Had only 1 chop, about a cup of mac and cheese and probably 2 cups of rice. Going down a bad path here, so had a salad and a diet soda. Ok, if I stop eating here, I should be ok for the day. Girl comes home and offers me a 25 cent size bag of cheetos. I accept. Still have not planned on when to exercise for the day. The boy decides to go to the hostess discount store and get some twinkies. I tell him Ho ho's sound good, and he obliges. They always do because they are kids and they want to make mom happy. They love mom. They don't realize mom is self sabotaging because she can. Then the prime time shows start. Yup, all that guilt and snacking well before 7 pm. So after How I Met Your Mother, MIke and Molly and Mad Love? (the one with Jason Biggs and Sarah Chalke) are over I decide this is enough. I cannot keep falling into a pattern of starting to work out, eating decent and then quitting. That got me 10 pounds further from my 1 year goal of losing 20 pounds before this month.
I was given 1 year to lose 20 pounds (now 30 are required), get my cholesterol down and make sure my A1c numbers are still below diabetes level.
7 months wasted. 7 months that I could have been working all this time and have been at and probably even surpassed the 30 pound goal. No more wasting time for me thanks. I am going on vacation and again, I am going to be looking fat in my family pictures, but this could be the last year I am unhappy with how I look.
I am on day 6 out of 8 days for TurboFire. I enjoy the work outs immensely and because she provides me with a schedule, I really can't come up with a good enough excuse not to do it. Maybe that was exactly what I needed. You tell me what to do and how to do it, I will follow it until I am able to stand on my own again and start making those smart choices with confidence.
You have to be willing to be taught if you are going to learn. I am now ready.
My next blog in 7 months will be of success and goals hit and new pictures that I am actually happy to share.
7 months. Not all that far away after all.