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cage fighting

Thursday, April 07, 2011

One of my children is an 18 year old almost-a-man (judging by the number of times he still says, "Mom, can you....., he is not quite there yet). As one friend said of teenage males: "they are testosterone factories". Yes, they are, which might explain his interest in the horrifying phenomenon of MMA fighting. He is not obsessed with it, just intrigued. A couple of years ago he campaigned to join a gym and start boxing. In keeping with my basic philosophy of raising teenagers "I cannot always stop you from doing what I do not want you to do but I am certainly not going to make it easier for you to do what I do not want you to do", my response was a firm NO WAY. I explained that he already participated in two of the most difficult sports for a mother to watch - wrestling and football. I was not about to sit ringside while he and some other mother's son pounded each other to a bloody pulp. I admire a boxer's training regimen, and I know there is a lot more to boxing than appears to a fairly squeamish mother, but I cannot get on board with this idea. It did get me thinking, however. I think there is an untapped market for potential cage fighters - menopausal women. Think about it - all that untapped rage and frustration and out-of-nowhere aggression. Okay, I am probably revealing more than I should about my hormonal struggles but, let's face it, menopause can be a mean thing to deal with. Whose idea was this, anyway? Seriously. Let's wait until a woman has 40 some years on the planet, so she is probably tired, and then let's hit her with hot flashes, mood swings, weird hair growth and/or loss, let's take some of the fat from her chest and smoosh it on her belly and bum, let's throw some graying of the hair, some lining of the face (oh, and this is fun, maybe a zit or two to go along with the wrinkles we will be introducing). And, let's throw some depression and some bouts of irresistable irritability her way, and some ravenous cravings for food, the kind of food that will make her even more tired and grumpy, and let's not even talk about sex. Really, we won't even talk about sex - this is Sparkpeople, not Cosmo. Whilst all this hormonal brouhaha is going on, we can expect her to take care of her aged parents, and college-bound teenagers (who will resist each and every one of her suggestions but expect her to be there to meet every need). Bitter? No, no, not bitter - just given to bouts of ranting, which NO ONE wants to hear, even other menopausal women because they are irritable and sick and tired of listening to everyone and.....Back to cage fighting. Our opponents would not be other middle-aged women. Our opponents could be the driver we are stuck behind in traffic, who insists on going 25 in a 35 while having their blinker on continuously, leaving us to hope, futilely, that they will ACTUALLY TURN, THEREBY LETTING US GO BY, DON'T THEY KNOW WE ARE LATE TO PICK UP - (oh, sorry, another rant-attack). Another possible opponent? The person in front of us at the grocery store who has coupons, questions about the sale flyer, coins they need to count and re-count, an argument for the clerk, & something they want to return. AAAGGGHHH. Or maybe the teenager who cooks a bacon and ramen noodle extravaganza feast for his friends, leaving the evidence all over the previously clean kitchen? The husband who is really annoyed because I express slight annoyance? No, let's face it. I don't want to pummel any of these people. I also do not want my weight announced over a microphone - "Here in the left corner is Cannie, weighing in at 180 lbs because she is stuck in some maddening plateau despite the fact that she is exercising, eating well, and drinking boatloads of water each and every day". No, I will stay out of the cage. I will breathe deeply and pray for patience. I will offer care to those I love, continuing to work on sorting out what I can contribute vs. what they can do for themselves. I will redirect my fighting urges to fighting my cravings, and fighting weight gain, and fighting fatigue, and fighting any desire to give up on myself. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You told me not to read this blog....but that just made me HAVE to read it! emoticon

    OMGosh, you are too funny.

    Hey, I'm the lady on the line at the grocery store with the coupons. Sorry. emoticon
    2266 days ago
    Awesome blog!! Thanks for pointing me to it. I really enjoyed reading it. Cage fighting for menopausal women - too funny! And really, some days, I think I could pretty easily do it! Loved it! emoticon
    2501 days ago
    Great, great blog. I loved it. So, I'm not crazy, just normal, going through all this stuff. Who says it gets better? All I know is that aging is NOT for wimps.

    They talk about "Anger is a luxury we can ill afford." But it still pops up, in many of those situations you so wonderfully described. I love your goal to redirect the fight, to where it can do some good, for ourselves.

    Have a GREAT day! Dawn
    2574 days ago
    You are so funny! You must also be a writer (if not you should be)!! Were you describing me? Anyway, great blog, made my day .. Thanks!
    2574 days ago
    Oh my gosh I'm cracking up! You are so right on with everything and I agree with your NO WAY to boxing for your son. My brother did all three, wrestling, football and when he was very young...boxing! Now, he's in the military and just got back from a tour of active duty. Is he selfish or what! Okay I used to think I wanted a boy but thank you so much I'm happy with my daughter she has to go through the hormonal stuff and I feel so incredibly sorry that I brought her into the world of female hormones. Really what on earth did we do to deserve this?!?! I don't even have any female parts any more but I tell you I STILL have those hot flashes and other things you mentioned...I don't think we could get into the ring because quite honestly it could be deadly:-)

    Great job on your veggie intake! You are awesome! And thank you for the Boston encouragement...I really doubt I will make it until the qualifying time drops to 6 hours plus...and I'm hoping at 80 years of age they will drop the time to that:-)

    I signed up for the Reno River half and I'm going to enter into the Nike womens full (i think full maybe half?)

    So wanna do a weekend nutrition goal of say eat at least 1 serving of fruit and veggies, exercise at least 10 min both days and I need to keep the no refined sugar but how about 1 regular sized serving on both days to keep things balanced???? I know these aren't super huge goals but they are attainable and when we do better doesn't it make you feel so good about yourself?

    p.s. tell your 7 year old i love the soccer ball! and i totally enjoy the emoticon's you insert i'm always too lazy to put them in.
    2575 days ago
  • KELLYD1958
    I'm there! Thanks for putting it in words!
    2575 days ago
    Stop!!!! This is hysterical! emoticon Thank you for your humorous perspective on this fun life-stage!
    2576 days ago
    Actually, life does get better, a lot better, especially after you retire (try to retire early but that doesn't mean you want your husband to join you --- let him keep working for as long as you can manage it.) Cheers! Susan
    2576 days ago
    too funny--but so right on! I am right there with ya! Good luck on your journey & thanks for the enlightening Blog...I enjoyed it very much! emoticon
    2576 days ago
    LOL! If it weren't so true, it would be hilarious. I'd love to tell you it gets better, but I turned 56 last month, and..............
    2576 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/7/2011 2:17:37 PM
    Great blog! Gives me a new appreciation for what my wife is going through!
    2576 days ago
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