I'm being presented with a challenge, and that challenge is patience.
Patience: The state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one's character can take before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast.
The Problem: This is a tough one for me because having patience is something I've never been good at. Having patience makes me feel that I'm not the one in control. I've worked so hard at overcoming different mind games through this journey, and this is making it even more difficult for me to allow myself time to be patient.
The issue: I've gone from someone who thought she'd NEVER run, to someone who suddenly had a strange curiosity for it and NOW LOVES RUNNING!!! I love the everyday challenge that it gives me and the everyday accomplishments and self confidence that I feel from it. Well, I seem to have injured my knee. About two weeks ago I tweaked it when I was doing dumbbell lunges. At first it wasn't bad, but eventually it got worse making it impossible for me to completely finish my 4 mile runs. So, I decided (much to my dislike) a week and a half ago that I better give it a rest. Let me just say that this has been so hard for me and I've missed it so much. It's weird to have these feelings for an activity that I never thought I'd do, but I'm hooked and I crave it!
Today I was planning to "just walk" on the treadmill. Well...back to the problem of lack of patience. My knee doesn't hurt in general, so I figured how bad could it be? I decided to try running to see how it would feel. I took it slow...only going 5mph and figured I'd stop if it started to hurt in any way. I made it two miles before I felt any type of trouble! I immediately went to a walk which was completely fine. Then the fourth mile came and I figured I'd bump it back up to the slow run...NOPE!!! Shooting pain, not going to happen. And if that wasn't enough of a reminder, the "constant" pain in my knee has now returned.
Lessons learned: I truly LOVE running, and it felt so good to be doing that after a week and a half. It was too soon though...I have to listen to my body and be patient if I want to get back to running like I was doing before. I have to set my desire aside for the time being and just be patient...I need to let my knee heal, completely.
I will learn to be more patient!
I will listen to my body and give it what it needs for my knee to heal!
I will stay positive!
I take on the challenge of Patience!!!