I really want this!

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Good Morning!
I am so discouraged this morning I thought I better blog and get it out and then move on.
The scale is definitely stuck, not one person has noticed that I have lost weight, no one. I am wearing one size smaller in jeans and I am feeling better about myself and about the way I look. Not great but better.
I feel that I am so big that people don't notice 25 pounds gone? Or just maybe I was super good at hiding that 25 pounds from others emoticon Who knows? I need to focus on how I feel and that I need to go forward and not give up.

I have been exercising more than I ever have in my whole life, this is a big deal. However, I don't think it is enough for this body. I need to do more. The scale is not moving, I am staying in my calorie range during the week anyhow emoticon

I literally have to say to myself out loud, don't give up, you can do this but it is really really hard. Hubby can eat anything he wants and in huge quantities and look absolutely amazing. It makes me feel like I am being punished and cheated when I see him eating the goodies etc. Then on the weekends, I give in to some of that stuff and the cycle is of healthy and what is best for me is broken. We are with family, with Sophie and I just lose it and eat the stuff that is not the best for me. ugh

I haven't fallen off completely, I work real hard during the week and sometimes I only eat bad things for one meal on Sunday or something so I am improving but still stuck. And of course the scale is not forgiving to me. One bad meal will set me back a week in terms of the scale. My metabolism is so slow. So I need to exercise more and harder. I have been using just dance 2, zumba and walking every night. My body is not changing enough with these things, I need more.

Today I am bumping up my exercise to a program called Turbofire. I watched an infomercial about it four or five times and shrugged it off. A friend of mine tried it and it helped her maintain a healthier outlook because she was working so hard she didn't want to blow it with food. I read reviews about it and finally I purchased the program and watched the intro dvd this morning. These moves are hard and it is a heavy workout. I will be doing the low impact version as I have a very bad knee . They also have a diet you can follow but right now, I am going to just attempt to do the moves which will be hilarious but I figure if I am moving most of the time, I am doing good! right?

I am so done being the fat girl! I need to do whatever I can to change my mindset so I can change this body and live my best life possible. I don't want to give up! I really want this! I don't want my body size and weight to limit me in my life. I want to feel good about how I look, I want to be healthy!

Thank you for reading. I know I am a broken record. I want to learn how to change and telling you my buddies about what is happening, I can be held accountable to my commitment to myself.

I appreciate you!!! I am so thankful for my sparkfriends, you are such an inspiration to me. Have a fabulous day!

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My Glen baby and I at the beach in Carmel California

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Carole, you've come such a long way already - and you can totally do this. 25 pounds is amazing. Don't forget, some people are uncomfortable bringing up another person's weight loss - but they're probably noticing anyway. Keep up the good work.
    And it's okay to have a "cheat". In fact, I've started planning my "cheat" one day a week - that way I can get through temptation knowing I can just wait and have it on that day. And then I am free to enjoy my day without guilt. So far this has been a saving grace for me and I'm actually starting to lose weight again after a LONG stall.
    2597 days ago
    I agree with scale drama- i had to let mine go for a while. And my man can also eat all he wants. I actually give him extra protein shakes, etc bc I can't seem to keep him fed well enough! You know you are making progress so keep doing it for you! :-)
    2599 days ago
    Love your photo, you and hubby look just fabulous. Hope the exercise program works, I'm also in a rut these days and trying to work my way out. All the best to you. emoticon
    2602 days ago
    Throw your scale away! Do not let the number on the scale determine whether you're excited or depressed.

    Keep eating correctly, and exercising, and you'll be fine!

    BTW - this is life, so you will indulge in food every now and then. Do it, and then get re-focused.

    2605 days ago
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