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About Yesterday's Blog

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Thanks for the response to my blog yesterday, pals. I had several people encourage me to just celebrate my own successes and be happy with that. I very much do and I very much am. I don't claim the jealousy some suggested might be behind the "compare and despair" function. Instead, for me what's behind "compare and despair" is my struggle with perfectionism. I'm not envious of what my friends have or are accomplishing--on the contrary, I'm thrilled for them. Rather, it stirs for me the anxiety of whether I'm doing enough, being my best, working hard enough, etc. And I, much like many of you, rely on FB as a way to communicate with several people I wouldn't otherwise communicate with and am grateful it's around for that purpose. Central to my journey to lose weight and be my healthiest self has been my willingness to feel and reflect on feelings, to reflect on behaviors and choices that work and don't work for me, and yesterday's blog helped me to acknowledge an emotional pattern that's just not working for me anymore. It's a relief, as always, to see I'm very much not alone.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It's good to have the kind of insight that you showed in your last blog. You're not just mindlessly feeling the emotion, and then feeding it. You're being objective, even in an emotional time, and observing yourself.

    That's probably a big part in what has lead you to such weight loss successes!

    You're doing great!
    2937 days ago
    I appreciate your blogs so much. I have struggled with being perfect my whole life. I rarely feel like I measure up to my potential and wonder when will I just be good enough. I heard this "God loves you, and you are enough." and am trying to learn to accept myself and be happy each day. Thanks for being candid and sharing.
    2938 days ago
  • BANAN2
    My only New Year's Resolution this year was to try to notice and claim perfectionism as often as I can and consider an attitude adjustment in each instance. So i totally get it. It is not from pride or wanting to be better than others. Not a bit. It is from fear of not being enough as I am. You have such a capacity to observe things and learn and adjust as a result, i will be hoping to learn, once again from your example as you consider your options and try new ways on this front!
    2938 days ago
    2938 days ago
    emoticon Hope your day is GREAT today!!
    2939 days ago
    In the Buddhist tradition, we are encouraged to look at these types of challenges as gifts because they teach us about ourselves - our likes, our dislikes, our gifts, and our weaknesses.

    Similarly, everything happnes for a reason, and you never know how your reaction to something may influence another human being on THEIR own journey of self discovery. Just reading your blog and the supportive comments this morning reminded ME of what a wonderful community of Sparkers we have here as an available resource for our needs. So, the moral of the story is: thank YOU for allowing me the opportunity for gratitude in this particular way - which would have never happened if you were "perfect."

    When I see things this way, things unfolded as they should have, perfectly IMperfect.

    2939 days ago
    I didn't get the feeling you were doing the whole jealous comparing thing AT ALL - I know I talked about that a lot, but it was about my friend and not you! :) Just so you know! I understand what you mean about feeling like you yourself are not doing enough good things. Although personally right now I'm teetering on the edge of doing TOO MANY good things and it's a fine balance for me not to be totally off kilter with a frantic schedule! HAHA!
    2939 days ago
    Most definitely not alone Melissa . . . and I understood your post yesterday. I didn't consider jealousy . . . mostly because that's not what I feel when I go through "compare and despair." It's not wanting what others have . . . it's wondering if I'm being good enough for ME.

    Anyhow, I wish you a happy day filled with sunshine and productivity, on whatever level feels right for you!
    2939 days ago
    One of the reasons I enjoy following you is because you are so open, whether its something good or something unsettling.

    And......... we all need support form time to time.

    Glad you are happy
    2939 days ago
    I got that so you communicated well enough
    2939 days ago
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