PAULAMARIEF

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I Bought A Notebook, But Didn't Quite Know Why!

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Are you ready? I have never written a blog of this kind. I'm a "quiet Sparker", lol. I give encouragement to others and occasionally my two cents. Many blogs of reaching goals and overcoming obstacles have given me incentive. Maybe my blog can help someone too. Today I wanted to share with the Spark community a little of my background with fitness and nutrition. I'm excited, I made a decision to finally get certified for personal training and fitness nutrition. I registered on line yesterday. This is a huge step for me (you'll read why). I am fortunate to able to do this as a hopeful part-time business. The thought of income is great. The real motivation is that I will finally be following through with a dream. It's to prove to myself that I can do something that I feel I was meant to do for a long time. I've helped so many friends (and back when I worked) co-workers with exercise routines and menu planning. Why not get certified for it? I would be happy with just one person asking for my help to reach their goals. When did I fall in love with working out? It started over 25 years ago. I joined a gym, well, three. Started working with personal trainers who had competed in shows. I read everything I could on strength training and exercise ..... I laugh thinking about the reading resources back then and how there were few if any magazines geared toward women's fitness. Fitness category was just getting popular, most reading was on bodybuilding. So I read the hardcore stuff, Muscle, Muscle and Fitness and Flex (more male related advice) Cory Everson and Rachel McLish were my female role models. I had a darn good body, the kind people at the gym would walk by with a sales consultant, look at me and say "can you make me look like her if I join". My muscles responded quickly to lifting weights. The gym was my second home. I was what we used to call a gym rat. Do they still use that term? So I wanted to become a personal trainer back then; but didn't for one reason or another. Mostly because I didn't believe in myself. I never felt confident in my choices in life. I wasn't good enough; hence the eating disorder. As far as the nutrition knowledge I've acquired, I learned the hard way. One by struggling with anorexia and having to work with many nutritionists. Two, being on every commercial diet, eating plan, pills, reading every book on weight loss, etc. when I didn't even need to lose weight. Right after leaving my second hospitalization for my eating disorder, I took a job as a diet consultant for Diet Center (popular right before Nutrisystem came out) It was like putting a recovering alcoholic in a bartending job. Let's just say it wasn't a healthy choice. I do look back and think it's ironic that 20 years ago Diet Center's weight loss plan was based on the glycemic index and basically low carb, high protein. Not the norm at that time. Clients were successful, but it was a very restricted diet on the first phase and not healthy or realistic for most clients. Of course this type of "diet" was a dream for the still unhealthy me.

A big side note...I am not only a recovering anorexic, but I've battled other obstacles for over 20 years, major depression and anxiety disorder. Vague terms in my opinion, but that's a quick way to write it. So among the therapy and medications and did I mention therapy, lol, for over the years, making this decision to follow an old dream is scary and anxiety producing. The outcome of this venture will help me to see the strength I've gained on the inside as well as the outside and that's worth the world to me.

As far as the eating disorder, I've been doing great for over 12 years and since had a beautiful son at age 41 (5 years ago). My best accomplishment! The minor set back was going to the other extreme and gaining close to 70 pounds during my pregnancy. Not the recommended amount! I gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted. When would I ever have an excuse to do this again, right? Wrong. So after giving birth, I found out what it was like to have to lose actual body fat weight. First 55 pounds came off relatively fast, then the next 10, finally a year after last 5 gone. My loss was all done the healthy way. No starving and no spending endless hours on cardio equipment. I actually put into practice what I had preached to others for years and it works.

If you've made it this far, thank you so much for putting up with my babbling. I am soooo not a writer! Bottom line is I'm still finding me and it's happening at age 46, but that's okay. I would tell someone else to do it, to follow their dream no matter what age. So I am finally taking my own advice and looking forward to being able to say "I did it".

I think that 3 section notebook had a purpose I just didn't know about until now.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FITNHEALTHYKAL
    I saw your comment on Carolyn's blog asking her to come and read your blog. Lovely heartwarming blog. So you signed up online in April....something over a month later, please share how you are feeling and where you are and how it's going on this next chapter in your journey towards your lifelong dream!
    3379 days ago
  • CAROLYN1213
    Are you peaking in my notebook and copying? I LOVED Cory Everson!!! OMG! I wanted to be her! We have walked a lot of the same path my friend. I struggled with bulimia for over 25 years. I was a gym rat for a while and even got my aerobics instructor certification . . . which I never used. About 8 years ago I finally conquered my fears of instructing and got my yoga certification. That has helped to boost my confidence with a group. I am excited to be on this journey with you at this time! I am so excited for you! I am so excited for me! Your energy excites me!

    3379 days ago
  • CUPCAKE2CARROTS
    Thank you for the honest blog. It's very much appreciated. Great job and much success in your venture.
    3387 days ago
  • SUMMERCHANNY
    First of all, let me just say I would have never ever guessed your age from your pictures! Wow, you look so young!

    Secondly - Good for You!! I am so happy for you!!! I subscribed to you blog so I can follow you so make sure you blog about your progress!
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    3409 days ago
  • TABS17
    Always follow your dreams! There is no age limit to them...no limit at all as a matter-of-fact!
    3414 days ago
  • NADJAZZ
    Yes, your blog is helping others already! YOU are an inspiration to ME! I really appreciate how open and honest you are. More importantly, how EXCITING that you are pursuing your dream! I wish you much success!
    3416 days ago
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    3417 days ago
  • BEKAH_IS_BUFF
    I'm so flippin' excited for you! Your vulnerability - already helping others. I definitely want to stay in touch with you and your progress! You are helping to let the world know that life can BEGIN in our 40's! Your You ROCK!!!


    3418 days ago
  • ANUME08
    Wow, what a way to be an overcomer of the obstacles set before you! What better way to continue to help yourself on your journey but by helping others by what you have learned from experience! Great blog emoticon
    3418 days ago
  • MEGSMILEY
    Awwww... {{HUGS}} I SO relate to this blog. I am so sorry you had so many struggles when you were younger. Big congrats to you for conquering these issues and moving into a healthier place for yourself and your son.

    Congratulations for pursuing your goals. The only caution I would add is: please remain hyper-vigilant about your ED past. If you notice yourself falling into old patterns, you need to get on that immediately to prevent any kind of relapse. Good luck, honey! :)
    3418 days ago
  • IONA72
    Good luck on your journey and do keeping blogging, this was great to read!
    3418 days ago
  • ROGUE_1
    Wow I loved reading this. I am so excited for you! You are a great writer, a huge inspiration. Bravo and congratulations on EVERYTHING!!!
    3418 days ago
  • FIERCESTCALM
    awesome! congrats on following your dream. I'm currently working on making my dream of being a nurse a reality, so I know exactly what you're feeling.

    thought you did a great job writing!
    3418 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6811492
    I was actually thinking you're a very solid writer...not too wordy, to the point, but you evoke a ton of emotion. I got goosebumps! I am SO very thrilled for you. You've overcome many obstacles, and here you are again proving that you CAN accomplish your goals like you've done so many times in the past. Now you're actually trusting yourself to follow through! Great, great blog! I'm so happy for you!
    3419 days ago
  • LORIAPO
    I'm glad you are following your dream.
    What an accomplishment, just to be moving in that direction!
    emoticon emoticon
    3419 days ago
  • HEALTHYCOCONUT
    Way to go on following your dream!! Good luck!!
    3419 days ago
  • MOMSLIM
    I really enjoyed your blog.... good for you for following your dreams regardless of what age. You are the best person to help anyone on this journey. You've been through it all so you can speak from experience. i'm no fitness buff by no means, but I keep thinking how I would love to help mom's like me get to their goals. Admire you for following your heart.... I know you will do well and will help lots of people along the way. Congrats on all that you have accomplished in your life.
    3419 days ago
  • MOTIVATIONFOUND
    This is AWESOME! Kudos to you for following a dream you've had for a long time. Wonderful news. Good luck! :)
    3419 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3514403
    Your blog couldn't make me smile even more! Makes me feel good for following my dream with my health coaching course and Zumba. At times I think what am I doing when life seems crazy and busy but I knew if I didn't I would live with regret! It feels good to follow a DREAM doesn't it!!! emoticon
    3419 days ago
  • GSWINNIE
    emoticon to you for following your dream.
    3419 days ago
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