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Monday, April 04, 2011

I have been really down in the dumps lately. Just really moody and feeling yucky.

How can you be angry and sad at the same time? You pick yourself up but then find yourself blah again.

As a self prescribed therapy, I wrote a letter to someone who did not always have my best interests at heart. I let them know a thing or two and even then some. They missed of the best times that may have been possible. I wrote in there that I forgave them so that I could heal. I tore up the letter after reading it to myself again. The surprising thing is that I feel more at peace with myself.

Yesterday, I went to church. The church is actually in a movie theater. My butt did not want to fit. I sat but was uncomfortable and self conscious (I gained a few pounds, ugh). Last night, I watched the "Ruby" episode where she finds that she needs to be accountable to herself.

So today, I made me, myself, and I accountable. Believe it or not, I won the 500 goodie point spin today. I think the points helped to keep me motivated today. I stayed within my calorie range. I will try not to obsessive about the logging details. I found a song to get me moving again. Tomorrow, I am going to try and move some more. I will make some "me" time so I can rock more and then color myself a new lifestyle because I deserve "it".

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm so glad to hear you're brushing yourself off and getting your head back in the game. It's so important to be right mentally to get to where you want to be. Keep it going!
    3728 days ago
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    You are on your way, don't look back just look forward and go steadily towards your goal. All the very best, you can do it! emoticon
    3728 days ago
    I think we all have times like that. It is a constant struggle to remain positive and motivated. I also wrote a letter, and it was very much a relief, I also wrote a forgiveness letter to myself, I think I blogged about it. Any way the forgiveness letter to myself really helped me. Sending you love and positive energy!
    3728 days ago
    Good for you! Sometimes we just have to work through the tough times before we get going again. You've done that and now you're ready to succeed!
    3729 days ago
    One time I went through that. I had no idea what was going on, I never had that before. I was so angry with myself that I could even let myself somehow get that way. I literally worked all day (without talking any more than necessary), went home and went straight to bed. I was so sad for some reason. Everything seemed to make it worse. Then I was mad because I hated myself for going though it. And for some reason I just had this NEED to talk to my sister about life. All I needed to hear was "that happened to me once." All I nmeeded to hear to snap out of it was that I wasn't alone, I wasn't a freak, this is life and you're going to go through ups and downs, and its ok! I hope this helps you as much as it helped me. You will do ok, I love how spark is always there for you any time you need it. And you don't have to hide anything. We will help you get through it!!
    3729 days ago
    That is good that you are feeling better-- I think we all need to be accountable and even the happiest person gets in a funk once in a while!
    3729 days ago
    I and Dr. Oz Show Fans are so glad you have positive plans for tomorrow. emoticon
    3729 days ago
    Glad you felt motivated today!
    I think you did the right thing by writing that letter and then tearing it up. I've read that that exercise helps, but I have never tried it myself. So good that it worked for you.
    Your blog sounds like you've turned a corner today and are getting your will-power back. Good for you! Hope you have a really good day tomorrow, too.
    The background on your page is beautiful. I think next time I'm down in the dumps I'll just come over to look at your page!
    3729 days ago
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