Day 03 ï¿½ï¿½ Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Monday, April 04, 2011
I am having some real issues figuring this one out. So here goes some writing and I have no idea what will come out, or if it will be posted.
Something I have to forgive myself for.... well, I try not to hold onto things that I have done wrong in the past, as it isn't very helpful. It tends to trap me into redoing those things and not breaking out of the pattern.
As I said earlier my mouth and my head are too closely connected. Whatever I think, I tend to say. This leads to me expressing my anger and my frustration more often then I would like. But it is hard to figure out when I need to express my anger or frustration and when it will do more harm to those around me, then it will do good for me to express it. IE my mom tended to be a hold it all inside until she blew person and that meant us kids had no idea why she blew. It made us more careful around her, more nervous. My son used to respond to me that way, but then I found ways to enforce the rules earlier so I didn't do such a thing. But there are still times, at work and with others that I don't feel like I can enforce rules early, and I get frustrated and somewhat angry. Then I have a tendency to choose a whining partner and somewhat whine. IE I obsess until I decide if I am going to do anything about it or not.
Now, do I need to forgive myself for my whining, sharing of my frustration and anger? Not sure. I do need to stop doing it so much. If the person being whined about hears about it, it could hurt them and I don't want that to happen. I also don't want others to treat the person I am whining about different either, as it is just whining, not serious complaints. I have always tried to warn my whining partners of that fact. Of course, then it almost becomes an excuse. If they let me whine and then ignore it as I ask, I feel like what is the harm in it? Why not do it, if it allows me to get it off my chest?