WHY DO I RUN TO FOOD?
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Why Do i always Run to Food?
Food was and is a constant struggle for me. food is my first choice in times of stress, boredom, anger, unhappiness, happiness or nervousness? At the end of a long day I’d hold an opened carton of ice cream or cake in one hand and a spoon in the other and a glass of vodka to wash it all down, i have lied to family and friends bout my addiction for ever... and the constant question they keep asking is why are you fat you rarely eat... they have given all sorts of interpretation to it, some say its in the genes, some say its spiritual,
but the one thing i can't understand is Why I want a chocolate, or ice cream, or chips, in the first place if my weight is such a source of anguish for me? You would think that I would have shunned fattening food rather than welcoming it like an old friend. Logically that makes sense doesn’t it? If something in your life causes you pain, don’t you normally take steps to avoid the pain? For example, if your car continually breaks down, don’t you begin the process of replacing it with something more reliable? If your best friend betrays you time after time do you still want her to be your friend? Yet i who struggle with the love and addiction of food do that very thing. i turn to it as a soother for any emotion i feel, thus adding to my weight woes.
I have learned a lot about myself. I learned that I don't just love food, I crave food. I realize I have been treating food in a way that was similar to the way alcoholics treat alcohol. The difference with food is however, is that we need food. As hard as breaking an alcohol addiction is, at least you don’t need alcohol to survive. Food is essential, vital, and necessary for life
and that is why i have been ashamed to come back here...losing my dad recently i guess was the trigger... i have gained back everything i lost and some and coupled with that i am now fighting alcohol addiction where does it all end.. i have let my family and friends down who are counting on me to become healthier thus live longer... i talk to God and he tells me he has given me the strength i need to fight it... but i just cant seem to fight it.. I'm opening up here cos lots of you seem to have won this battle... i don't know how to fight this its cutting short my life and i don't know where to begin...