Sunday, March 27, 2011
This past week was pretty miserable on the work front. Constant stress and very little relief. Friday morning was supposed to be the big meeting which ended up getting rescheduled to Monday afternoon because my bosses were too busy on Friday. I have spent the weekend questioning if this was just a strategy to get me to book the huge event I have a meeting for on Monday morning and then let me go in the afternoon.
Luckily, an old friend of mine and I got to chat this afternoon and I really respect his opinion both personally and professionally. He confirmed what I have already known but just have not wanted to face. That I can not control my company and sometimes being let go or making a mutual decision to resign is the right decision. Jobs do run their course and we can not control when that happens necessarily. No matter what happens I will be able to find a new job, a better job, one that is more fulfilling and leaves me less stressed.
This past week I was not proud of how I handled the stress. Just because I didn't overeat doesn't mean I handled it in a good way. I basically hardly ate all week and I only worked out once. I was an anxiety ridden mess and if I was not overworking I was at home hiding and sleeping.
Why am I telling all of you this? Well because people keep telling me they admire me and I think part of my journey is being totally honest. Even when we get farther along in this journey we don't always make the right choices but that is ok. It is a constant learning experience and it is what we take away from each of these learning experiences that is the most important thing. I am strong, powerful, beautiful, and a survivor. Nobody is going to bring me back to the insecure miserable person I was a year ago. Whatever path I have to take to finding my bliss will be the right one and I will adapt. Regardless of the how I had to start out.