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No more counting.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Okay I kind of had an epiphany last night which is why I will delete my previous blog. I realized I’m not happy when I am trying to “lose” anymore. I am done losing. I'm done being hungry all the time. There are no more health issues I have to worry about in regards to my weight. I am completely healthy and at a very healthy weight. I fit into a size 8, and even those are getting roomy and I’m enjoying seeing the differences in my muscles by trying new strength routines occasionally. I've been maintaining for more than 5 months with NO problems. Last night I was just hungry. I was just HUNGRY. Because I spend all day holding out. Don’t eat this, don’t eat that. Save calories for this. And I can’t do it anymore. I get anxious because our boss buys us pizza. I get anxious because tonight is date night and we’d be eating out somewhere where the calories aren’t on the website. I just can’t do it. Back in January because I’d reached 133 I really let myself enjoy my life and eat out and not count calories. I never gained a pound, I worked out the same as I am now and always did because truthfully I enjoy working out and being in shape. And I was really happy. And I just got this into my brain recently that I wanted to lose 8 more pounds. And I’m to the point where okay I am glad I lost 2 more, but if I don’t lose 8 more it won’t be the end of the world. I need to live. I have so much going on in my life I just want to enjoy every day and not want to cry every night between 8 and 9 because I'm at my limit and eating more is the end of the world. And my eating habits won’t change but I won’t feel this enormous guilt if something comes up and my plan of what I was going to eat all day changes. I just need to live. I can stay under my calorie limit without counting mostly because I know the calories in almost EVERYTHING so it’d be impossible for the numbers not to pop up in my head. So while I’m only halfway through Ripped in 30, I will continue the workouts but I have decided to stop counting calories for a while. Maybe a few weeks before Jamaica I will try again, but for now, for my sanities sake I really just can’t do it anymore. I can’t worry. I just had a protein shake and I can estimate how many it was but you know what, I don’t care. I know it was healthy and will benefit me because I did the dvd this morning along with running 4.5 miles on an incline at the gym, and I know I will be fine today because I upped my protein. I love feeling in shape and knowing how physically fit I am. I want that to be my focus. I will always care about my nutrition and making sure I eat fruits and vegetables because I LIKE fruits and vegetables and enjoy making meals that are healthy and tasty. But tonight I’m eating out with my boyfriend. And life will go on.

Watch in 3 weeks I’ll be saying I AM SO PUMPED TO LOSE WEIGHT AND STAY ON A STRICT DIET! LOL no I don’t think so. I am just looking forward to being even MORE active this summer by taking runs on the boardwalk and possibly finding some hiking locations nearby. And I’ve been researching kickboxing class. I think it could help with my anxiety. Anyway that's my story right now. Here's to putting the sparkpeople app away for a bit. =)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I know EXACTLY where you're coming from and had a similar epiphany recently. I'm now really into Intuitive Eating and trying my hand at it for a couple weeks to see how it goes. So far all the stress and anxiety I had developed around food has disappeared! You can check out some of my old blogs if you're interested (my blog about Perfectionism was the start of my questioning). Way to go for starting to recognize what your body needs!
    2949 days ago
  • VIXEN2188
    It feels so much better to not count. I am nearing 3 weeks of not counting and I don't feel bad most of the time. It was hard the first week to learn to listen to my body all over again. I even asked a naturally thin person I know how she eats and what makes her not eat extra food and stuff. I can't remember how I used to be and I have only lost 15 LBS since spark about a year ago so I know that I wasn't eating that bad. It really is great to not count though. I was counting in my head but I eventually stopped and most days I don't anymore. I will make an omelet and not measure the egg whites and it keeps me from knowing the cals. I feel like I was suffering from an eating disorder and I'm sure there is one for excessive calorie counting and what not. I hope this works out for you. I still think it makes sense to look at serving sizes and calories of certain foods such as cakes, candy, pizza or junk food because those are the easy ones to overeat with. Good luck! Your gonna feel better and free!!!
    2949 days ago
  • ERIKO1908
    I so know what you mean & I don't even count calories!! I told myself I'd journal my food intake for a year...I'm at 117 days...I should hit maintenance well before the year is up but I'm going to stick to my original plan of writing it all down for the full year...then I'll take a break and see how I do. Enjoy your new found freedom!! You got this one!!
    2949 days ago
  • SILLYHP1953
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Yes, you have had an epiphany!!! Aren't they wonderful? I named my latest cat Piffany because I wanted to have an epiphany! Go and live!
    2950 days ago
    If you feel that this is best thing for you, then do it! Only you can do what's best for you and your sanity. If you were able to maintain your weight loss before then I'm sure you'll be able to do it again. I know that I don't want to count calories for the rest of my life so I plan on being less strict on myself once I get to goal.

    I'm on the last week of Ripped in 30 and it's HARD!! Jillian is NO joke, if you can let me know me know what you think of it.

    Wishing you the best with everything!!
    2950 days ago
    I'm so happy for you that you made this decision! I just read your previous blog and was thinking to myself that I wanted to suggest to you that maybe you don't need to lose more weight (of course who am I to say, but just from reading about the way you felt, that;s what I was thinking)! I think it's so awesome that you've come to that conclusion on your own! You look amazing! You are super fit and you workout a lot which is so important, so who cares about those last few pounds? Enjoy your accomplishments and just maintain like you know how and enjoy life! Life is not all about food and calorie counting! You are emoticon
    2950 days ago
    I think you have every right to stop counting calories. It does become a huge part of your daily activities when you are focused on losing weight. I find myself telling my husband how many calories I have left for the day and how well I ate. It is consuming, but once you reach maintenance you should take the time to figure out if you can maintain your weight without counting every morsel that enters your mouth. That is something I am looking forward to when I hit my goal weight. I still need to put everything into Spark because I am not an expert eater yet, but you are a master. Go enjoy life! You deserve it!!
    2950 days ago
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