I seriously need some help

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

What the heck am I doing?! I have been slipping majorly on the exercise front since February and I just feel like I'm never going to get my motivation back.

I started going to the gym when I moved home in May of 2010. I figured if I wasn't working, I'd be working out. I got truly invested when I switched to a new personal trainer in July. I struggled so much with not moving the scale and wasn't seeing the changes to my body...I was getting into smaller sizes in tops and slightly smaller sizes in bottoms (at least in workout clothes).

The first real sense of accomplishment for all my hard work was when I saw photos from July compared to photos taken in December. I was so completely taken aback and was upset with myself (not for long though) for complaining so much about my lack of progress. I feel like if I had "seen" results a lot sooner, I really would have been more invested.

Until January of this year, I was working out all the time because I had nothing better to do. In February, I realized that it's my own fault for not "having things to do". So I joined a dating website and I also joined a few groups on Meetup. I started having a social life and my exercise devotion has slowly been slipping away.

I am proud of the fact that I have been tracking my food intake every day and there have only been a handful of days that I didn't track accurately because I consumed so much food that I didn't know how to track it all. These days were far and few between. I have managed to stay between 224-226 for the last 3 months, just by "dieting" alone since exercise has been reduced to 3x a week and sometimes not at all.

I just feel like my reasons for working out have changed. I was doing it to get healthy but more to just have something to do. I feel like I have a more active social life now and that I don't "need" to go to the gym for that social escape any more.

I have been looking for a job since September but have really focused on it more this year. I've been taking courses through the unemployment office to boost my resume, interview skills and other essentials to getting a job and living an unemployed life. I had an interview yesterday for a job I knew I wasn't going to get. I did end up signing up to be a volunteer in the office however. I'll be mostly doing this on Thursdays and some Fridays. It's office work (putting together packets, filing, phone work) but it's my foot in the door to a job with this agency. I don't know how long I'll be able to volunteer because my goal is not to work for free. I want to work for them, but will be applying to any job anywhere in the state that I feel I'm qualified for.

I have anxiety over this because I know I won't be volunteering for long and will have to "drop" them once I get a full time job somewhere. I will have to make sure that when I do start volunteering, that they are aware of this. I will give them 2 weeks notice when I do find a job and hopefully that will allow me to leave on good terms.

I'm feeling dejected and totally feeling like I just can't do this any more. I love to strength train but I can't even bring myself to the gym to do even that. I find when I am going to the gym, I am doing just cardio (which I HATE) and not doing what I love because I feel like the cardio is better for me than the ST. It's like I'm punishing myself. The last few weeks I've managed to get to the gym on the first 2 days of the week and then I don't go at all the rest of the week.

I need my Sparkies to help me figure out how I can find a new passion for the gym. I feel burned out from it in the last 8 months and I just want to give it up completely.

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    Don't be hard on yourself. I have been lacking in motivation lately too. What I have done is just give myself a goal of 10 minutes of activity/exercise a day. I have been changing it up too. A dance workout, zumba class, exercise bike, and a rookie run. I take the weekend off (Sat & Sun). Also I only allow myself to weigh in once a week so I don't get discouraged if things aren't going well. Since January I have lost one week then gained the next. But I keep trying and that is all that counts. It is better than doing nothing. I hope everything works out for you.
    3300 days ago
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    You know, I'm in a similar spot. Some of it is a post-race blah mood, but I also feel a bit ho-hum about my workouts. I am looking to shake it up a bit and get myself fired back up.

    What I do know is that I will not let myself fall back into old habits. I am too important to myself to become a slug again.

    Hang in there. You can do this. And you are definitely worth it.
    3301 days ago
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    Oh, Mandy, I know this dance of balance all too Remember that there is no statewide mandate for you to go to the gym every day of the week and that balance can be found between the gym, your social life and job hunting. And if you hate doing cardio (or is it cardio at the gym specifically?) then go to the gym for the strength training and take the cardio outside where you can enjoy it more. Much of the snow is gone, and while it's still nippy we have been seeing some sunny days. And for me combining cardio with a natural setting is really, well, necessary. It grounds me, it calms me down, I enjoy it more and I definitely sleep better. I have been so psyched since all of the snow melted and my walking has I want to try running and see if I can do a 5K this year.

    And if your gym offers any classes as part of the price of membership that might be a nice break in the routine as well. I also think it's fine to ease up a bit so you can enjoy some social activities as well. I am usually strictest with myself Sunday night-Wednesday night but then let myself have a little fun Thurs, Fri or Sat nights. Find out what works for you. Heck, ANY exercise even three days a week is a huge accomplishment.

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    3301 days ago
    have you thought of alternating days. One day cardio, and one day of strength training??? That way you get all of what you need?? Maybe that will help with your motivation?? Because your body needs both. Or doing 30 minutes of Cardio then 30 minutes of ST??? Shake it up?? So that you get everything you need??
    3301 days ago
    Oh dear, I know exactly how you feel. I went through that loss of motivation recently and I was really worried about it because that is such a habit for me throughout my life, I was sure I was never going to do another healthy thing for myself. THEN . . . I started to think of things about exercising that are awesome: the way it makes me feel better; that even if it's just a little, my clothes are fitting me differently; that I can sleep better; that I'm not feeling weighed down and guilty for eating crap all day long; I have more energy throughout the day. The list can go on and on, and it might have different items in it for you. I also began to walk. I walk fast and as I got more of a rhythm going to my groove I decided to add a little intensity to it and walk to sidewalks and jog the driveways and across the streets. Then when I began to time myself on a stopwatch and saw that my time was getting faster and faster I was hooked.
    Please, find something that moves you. I find it helpful to meditate in order to get a 'mind, body, soul' connection; but, for you it might be something different. All I really know for sure is that you have to know YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFORT!!! I know that we think the number on the scale is important, but please understand that if you are strength training you are building muscle which is dense and weighs more than fat. So, you could be smaller in size but weigh the same, or even a # or 2 more (god forbid) because of the density of muscle. Don't throw in the towel. YOU ARE WORTH ALL OF THIS AND MORE!

    3301 days ago
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