Saturday, March 19, 2011
I have stood, humbly, at my post, for nearly 6 long, trying weeks. Note: I originally typo'ed this line, incorrectly stating the duration as, "months," rather than, "weeks." So, there you go subconscious. You win.
I came. I sauteed and stewed. I karaoke lullaby-ed like a woman crazed. Rode bikes and trikes and plastic cars never intended to accumulate adult mileage. Swung swings. Nursed wounds, real and imagined. Dried- and cried- tears. Flashed and feigned smiles.
I am at a crossroads. I have reached an interminable impasse. Emotionally, mentally and physically drained, I desire to wave a white flag and brazenly announce my defeat to the masses. I am broken.
I am also guilty of a bit of melodrama and true physical un-wellness, which are of no use to just about anyone. Notable exceptions being the script rooms of, "Guiding Light," and possibly "Grey's Anatomy," on a particularly bad day. Although it is safe to say that I have abruptly reached the threshold of selflessness, I am determined to walk (or crawl) away from this extended experience a wiser, more tolerant, more self-aware human being. A human being that is certain my level of child-time endurance is both metered and extremely transient. I am duly grateful, and also confounded by the patience and the appearance of cheeriness on the faces of elementary educators.
You can never step in the same spilled milk twice. There are always new messes to me made. My life will never be the same.