To every time there is a season

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

To Every Time There is a season…..

The past 2 weeks have been an incredible journey from reconnection with old friends, anticipation of a birth, a death, a celebration of engagement and a funeral….

I met my old college girlfriends for a reunion the weekend of February 28th. Six hour one way trip. Had a wonderful time.

We went to visit my son & his wife for a baby shower in Memphis March 4th weekend. Our first grandchild very, very exciting. Seven hour one way trip.

The week of March 7th had been planned for months as the Wedding week. Florist, engagement pictures, reception planning, cake decisions, groom’s parents weekend, engagement party and engagement brunch at our house on Sunday the 13th.

Tuesday March 8th: Visited my Mom at the rehabilitation center. Looks good and is happy. Sweet, sweet Lady. She turned 95 the 21st of February. She has been in assisted care since she was 82. She has been happy and healthy but had some dementia. Has not known me in several years but could trick the best of us. Her name was Mary

Wednesday March 9th 9 am: My daughter (also Mary) and I have an appointment with the florist for wedding flowers. On the way I received a call from the rehab nurse (also named Mary) saying my Mom had aspirated some of her breakfast but is doing okay.

10 am: My daughter and I visit my Mom. Beautiful, smiling has a slight rattle, and a little short of breath.

10:30 am: I have to make the decision to put her into hospice. Yes, one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. Called the church for her last rights and had to leave a message on the answering machine. Her speech therapist stopped by to check on her….her name was Mary. Then the social worker, her name was also Mary. In case you lost count 5 Marys in all.

Noon: Hospice Nurse (also named Mary) has me sign all the papers. Mom is still doing okay. Has a smile on her face and twinkle in her eye. Stay with her until 1:30

1:30 pm: Decide that I need to go to the funeral home and pick out all the “stuff” just in case it happens. It has been 16 years since my last funeral home decisions, then I had other people with me to help. This time I was all alone. Fortunately, the funeral home director/owner is also a personal friend. It was overwhelming to say the least.

4:30 visit again. About the same, still smiling and the twinkle remains.

5:30 receive a call from my 82 year old aunt who lives 1400 miles away. Voice mail: Someone from the church called to say her sister was not doing well could I explain. This was the first time I had been home since this morning had no chance to call her or anyone else. I was to say the least shocked that someone other than family would think that they could call an elderly lady and tell them that their sister was not doing well, let alone not knowing if she were alone or not. Yes was it was awful and my aunt was alone. I assured her that Mom was okay (which was my assessment) and I would call if anything changed.

6:30 Called the church to find out WHO made the call. Still don’t know.

Thursday March 10th:

2 am: Phone call Mom had passed away. It was a shock to all. The nurse had just checked on her and she was doing “fine” 15 minutes later……. It is very, very dark at 2 especially to receive that phone call
Thursday morning: My daughter had a hair appointment. I went to the grocery to get ready for the weekend. Ended up going to 4 grocery stores….never did get all I needed that day for the weekend.

2:00 pm: Engagement pictures. For one hour it was totally wedding and just silliness. We had a great Mom and Daughter time…

3:30: Take Mom’s clothes to the funeral home

6:30: Fiancé arrives

Friday March 11th

9:00: visit venue for out of town wedding brunch. Plan menu

9:45: Florist pick out blanket of flowers for Mom’s casket

11:00: Cake tasting and picking out the wedding cake

1:00-3:00: Picking out local gift registry for the wedding

5:30: Future in-laws arrive

6:30: Dinner out and wedding planning

Saturday March 12th

9 :30 am: Mom is ready for viewing. Once again I go alone. I didn’t want our daughter to go because her memory was of her still sitting in her bed with a twinkle in her eyes and smile on her face. The engagement party is this evening and in case she didn’t look like herself I didn’t want to ruin her remembrance. My husband was working. Mom looked beautiful and so at peace.

11:30: Lunch with the future in laws.

2:00 pm: bridesmaids arrive from out of town (8 people staying with us)

4:00: Start cooking for the engagement brunch that will be here on Sunday 15 people

5:30: more out of town guest arrive

7:00 pm: Engagement party 125 people. Lovely event and a celebration of the wedding.

Sunday 8:30 am: Church

10:00: Take my daughter to view my Mom. Looks very pretty she handles it with ease.

11:00: Engagement Brunch

2:00: Out of town guest start leaving all gone by 3

5:00-7:00: Visitation

6:00: My nephews surprise me and come from Jacksonville and Miami, I love them so much

7:15: Rosary

Monday March 14th

11:00 am: funeral mass our daughter gave the eulogy, beautiful tribute to a beautiful lady.

12:00: graveside

12:30: Mercy meal


Tuesday March 15, 2011

All day…..a time to reflect and give thanks

To every time there is a season…..
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I too am speechless. I am proud of you for handling a difficult situation so well. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the emotional turmoil you went through. I've said an Our Father for the repose of the soul of Mary. Will send you an email today. emoticon Gigi
    3631 days ago
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mother was indeed a beautiful lady.
    3633 days ago
  • PSMITH3841
    I am so sorry to hear about your Mothers passing...such a sad thing within all the joy....Your message was loving, bittersweet and showed strength in family. It touched my heart. You and your family are amazing.... All of you are in my thoughts and prayers...I'll be in touch....Penny emoticon
    3634 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/16/2011 8:48:33 PM
    I'm speechless, thank you so much for sharing all of this. You are truly amazing and inspirational. I am touched by your spirit and your strength. Your relationship and love for your mother is so clear in your words. You have given me a reminder to reflect and give thanks as well, thank you so much for that.
    3634 days ago
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