Here I Go Again on My Own

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I'm so, so, so tired. Yesterday after school, I came home and had dinner, then took a walk. I'm pretty stressed out and the walk was the start to what I needed to try to relax. I could have gone to the gym or taken a run, but the walk in the mountain air and 50 degree weather helped start to clear my head up. I've eaten horribly the last couple of weeks with minimal exercise (volleyball and a few times riding bikes at the gym). I know that stress should not be an excuse for treating my body horribly, and I really just wish that some day I'll learn to handle stress in a healthy way.

While I was on my walk, I made a mental list of all the things that are stressing me out. I want to list them here, too, so that if there's anyone who has any advice, they can help me out.

Stress List
1. My job. It's wonderful and I love it. I get so behind sometimes, though. I want to be the best teacher possible. I want to inspire my students and teach them all they need to know. It's a tiring job, though. Between planning 3 preps, grading 80 3-10 page papers, and teaching, I'm about worn out. I can't wait for Spring break in a couple of weeks.
2. My masters degree. Between the reading and the homework, I don't know how to get it all done sometimes. Again, I just want to be the best student I can be and I feel like I fall short of that sometimes.
3. My home life. I pack my life with so many freaking things, that I sometimes feel like I'm not spending enough time at home with my hubby. I'm very fortunate that he understands this and that he is so kind and loving.
4. My family. I never see them. I need to plan a wedding shower and bachelorette party for my sister who is getting married in June. I want to spend time with my mom, sisters, and nephews. I miss my dad whom I haven't talked to since last May. When is there time in the day for me to be a good family member?
5. My personal life. I'm impatient and a worry wart. Sometimes I get jealous of what others have that I want, then I get upset at my selfishness. It's a never ending cycle.
6. My health. I've been neglecting it and that's just not right.

So, after thinking about it and listing it all out, I see a couple of commonalities. The first is that all I want to do is be the best me possible. When there are so many balls being juggled, I feel like I can't keep them all up for too long. If one drops, I've failed. How can I be good at everything all at once? The second thing I notice is time. I need an extra 10 hours in a day. Is there anyone out there who can make that happen? :)

I started fresh again yesterday with breakfast, salad for lunch, and a sensible dinner. When I got home, I did that 45 minute walk, then had volleyball after that. Same thing today, only better since I got all my water in today and actually got a 45 minute run in after I got home. My healthy lunch is all made for tomorrow. I'm ready to start anew with baby steps. Here I go again!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You have a lot to handle. Great job taking time for yourself!!
    3135 days ago
    great blog! You have a lot going on beautiful. HUGS
    3136 days ago
    The first thing to begin with is concentrating on your health. do things that will make YOU be the best (healthiest) person first and and then the other things will be a little easier.

    I have been looking for the 30 hour day or the 8-day week for 14 years and look what that has done for my health. You and I are alike, if we had the extra time in a day or week, we would fill that too.

    Take a deep breath and ask yourself, what can I do for me today?

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    I am sending you a great big emoticon
    3136 days ago
    You just have to do the best you can do in the time you have. You can't be perfect. No one is perfect. I think you're doing great even if you've gotten a little off track with your healthy lifestyle the last couple weeks.

    - Karen

    P.S. Now I have that song going through my head!
    3137 days ago
    WOW.. You do so much and are handling better then most people would!! You will get back on track..

    3137 days ago
  • CHAR1970
    I too can sympathize. My mother always tells me that I must thrive on stress, as it is always in my life. I like what DRPOOH63 says about scheduling time each month with one of your priorities. It sounds like your family understands that you are busy and can't spend time with everyone all the time.

    Take a breath. Spring break is around the corner, and around another one is the end of the school year.

    3137 days ago
    Just keep on trucking along sweetie! Even with so many things on your plate. You must always remember to take a few mins out of the day for yourself. All you can do is take baby steps!
    3137 days ago
    emoticon Hugs you can do this, step back and look at what is dragging you down and make plans on how to remedy it. So many times I have felt the same, the good news is it does not last forever!
    3137 days ago
  • REYVE01
    You made me feel stressed after reading that. I hope you can manage and get through this time in your life... I'm a student too, plus a single mom.. it is a struggle. emoticon
    3137 days ago
  • DRPOOH63
    First give yourself a break. Then I would say list your priorities. Now I am a scheduler so I would schedule time for each of my priorities - monthly. Sounds like you have a great list and a good idea of where you stand with everything. Take it one day, week at a time. Good luck!
    3137 days ago
    Just keep plodding along girl and when one of those balls drops, think about what you would tell your very best friend......probably something like "no big deal, you're the best, keep on going, " and say that to yourself. Treat yourself as good as you would treat your best friend or best student or favorite sister.

    You can do it!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3137 days ago
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