I'm pretty scared

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I am terrified. As of this morning there are over 700 people on this team and they are all here because of Mommyland. They're all looking to me to help them, to help lead them through these challenges. And I am so scared I'm going to let them down.

The truth is I need your help, MommyLand. I've struggled with this for so long and it seems like its finally possible for me, but I don't think I can do it without you. I need this team and I need this blog and I need Mommyland and Kate "the Hooker" Mclovin more than anyone could ever need me back.

I'm truly doing this for you guys but I'm doing it for me, too. And my kids who deserve a better example that I'm giving them. And my sweet husband who seems to love me and want to squeeze me no matter what I look like. But I'm scared of failing.

Deep breath.

I promise to work really hard to make this a great experience for you. I promise to do the best I can. I promise to put my kids and family first and that will sometimes mean taking a day off. I promise to be totally honest and accountable to everyone. I promise to support you. I promise never to be a Judgey McJudgerson. If you have PCOS or are dealing with wonky insulin, I promise to share that fight with you and tell you everything I'm trying and how it works.

If you're one the people who stepped up to take a leadership role here: YCA, Courtney, Ricky, Dana, Kate (the other one who's a ninja - not a hooker), PirateGirlMel, DugieStoner and DTWAMF - I promise to kiss you arses and shower you with my gratitude. You have no idea how grateful I am and how much I love you and want to get drunk with you and maybe start crying because I can't really express myself and then maybe I would sing something but you would all ask to me to stop because it was awkward but also funny because I can't sing.

Y'all, These women volunteered to lead the 100 Day Challenge when we had a couple of hundred people signed up but only 40 active/daily users. We're all so proud and happy to be part of this and marvelling at how big its gotten. If there are some growing pains, please be patient with us.

In any case, I feel better for having told you all this. Let's square up on this challenge and make it our B. If you have a bad day or couple of days, JUST START OVER. I'll do it with you, if you'll do it with me. Wait. That sounded porny. Sorry.

Go Team!

xo, Julie
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD10542384
    Hey, there. I joined SP three days ago (if you count today, which I toooootally am) and remembered yesterday that RfM mentioned you joining here, too. When I finally joined up this morning (that's right; it was a three-day saga involving blood, sweat, tears, possibly a broken nail), it looks like you haven't blogged here in a few. I bring this up not because I'm a total bitch (although I am, but that's not why I'm bringing it up) but because I want to share a quote from one of my favorite writers with you: "If you have a bad day or couple of days, JUST START OVER. I'll do it with you, if you'll do it with me. Wait. That sounded porny. Sorry." Here's an awkward hug from a weird friendly stranger: (((hug))) Want to try again? I know, BELIEVE ME, that there could be a million reasons you're not up to it. I've started and stopped dieting about a dozen times this year myself! If that's the case, please don't feel a smidge guilty--you're a fantastic mom and don't deserve to stress over something as superficial and time-consuming as weight loss. You haven't failed if you've stopped (I prefer to think of it as taking a break to recoup willpower).
    3523 days ago
    You inspire me to try and The rest of these amazing women inspire me to continue. Plus I keep telling myself I want progress not perfection (but being Gwyneth...hmmm). I know I can't do this, but WE can and that's what YOU'VE done. Great job mommy :)
    3633 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5023796
    you know we love it when you sound porny. it's our favorite
    3633 days ago
    Julie, the most important thing is when you get off track, that you get back on track! We all fall off the wagon the key is what we do when we are laying on our ass... do we get back up and climb back on that wagon? That's where you prove what you're made of.

    You can do it!
    3634 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/16/2011 10:54:31 PM
    Typing thru tears sux. Upside? I'm crying because I love these ladies AND because I laughed so hard I just hurt myself. Faboo!

    Look, perfection is a really high standard that we just aren't equipped to meet. We are all given to each other to make a difference, to help each other, to affect each other, and to love one another. Plain and simple. We're going to have good days and bad days. We're going to have ninja days and couch potato days. We're going to have gains and losses. But look at how much more we can gain just be being here for each other.

    Besides, if we were all perfect, then we'd all have to be like Gwyneth. And really, who wants to be Gwyneth?
    3635 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9656784

    Our most favorite thing about you is your "Not Perfectness" - this is hard - progress is not a straight line - days are good, days are tough. We all wish you were our neighbor so we could laugh in person - but we will have to be content with cyber reality.

    So - no pressure - it's all good.
    3635 days ago
    Oh Lydia I know we can do this. Losing weight is not easy, if it were we'd all be skinny snitches and Sparkpeople wouldn't exsist.

    On another note..I think we need to request a meeting with the Sparkpeople CEO and demand commission. You started a movement! And I feel lucky and extremely priviledged to help lead it!
    3635 days ago
    Julie - Just Relax. Frankie says Don't Do it. Seriously, work out, eat right, take care of your PCOS and let the other monkeys drive the bus for a change. We are just excited that you are a part of this with us!!!
    (Though some sort of RFML gathering may be necessary after all of this. Tboxes, kareoke and silly ninja pirate hookers? Who could possibly resist?)
    3635 days ago
  • ALLIECAT1881
    Hey! No worries. You're just a minion now. You handed the reigns over to the team leaders so now you can suffer through the challenges with the rest of us. Though you are somewhat of a celebrity, and the thought of cracking open a t-box with you and catching your drunken tears to sell on ebay is pretty bada$$... I had a point. POINT IS relax, worry about you and the challenges. I feel like we're all on the same level here. Happy to have you doing this with us! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

    aaaaaaaand THANK YOU SO MUCH for posting this on the RFML to begin with. I am thrilled to meet these women. I haven't laughed so hard or been so motivated in a long time! This is an amazing gift. Just getting us all together was enough leadership on your part. Again... you CAN DO THIS!
    3635 days ago
    Honey, do this for you because it will make YOU feel better!!! We are all going to love you regardless of what you do with this challenge. Just because you are Lydia... oh wait.... I mean Julie. =)
    3635 days ago
    Hee hee. Kate said boobstain. Hee hee. Go Julie Go! This team will rock the challenge! A great idea gathers many followers! Getting healthy for self and for family is one of those classically great ideas. Like clear deodorant or those socks that are like gloves for your feet.

    But annieway, good luck. You'll do awesome.
    ~Annie emoticon
    3635 days ago
    No one expects you not to stumble or even fall. We'll help you up when you do. And all we're asking is that you help us back up when we flatten our a$$es too.

    You don't need to feel that you have the world on your shoulders. Re-read what you just wrote and you'll see that we're ALL in the same boat. Captains and founders included.
    3635 days ago
    Totally. Let's get drunk. We'll look exactly like Kate(ninja, not hooker)'s awesome drawing of the RFML Sleepover. It will be awesomesauce because we're equally awesome AND saucy. Also, I'm totally down for some drunken karaoke.....I can't sing either so we'll be great because, when it comes to us, 2 wrongs abso-friggin-lutely make a right.

    Oh yeah, and what all those other snitches said down there. I would be totally motivating and encouraging and stuff like they are but you said something about getting drunk so I got sidetracked and went with it. You're welcome.
    3635 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8923508
    What they said.
    And I totally would get drunk with you but since I'm in charge of Cardio we'd have to dance it off. Or I'd be the bad example.

    You may have some eyes on you since you're famous and all, but frankly you need to worry more about doing this FOR you and FOR your family. You have to want it yourself for the right reasons because I too have started and stopped this many times. The times I succeed are the times that I am held accountable and the times that I make it a priority for me.
    OWN it!

    3636 days ago
  • YARAC211
    I don't think you need to worry about "leading" here. The team leaders rock the mother trucking house and everyone has their own motivations for joining the challenge.

    Will everyone be watching your progress though? Yeah, probably. That's what you get for being awesome.
    3636 days ago
    It's all good!!! And any blog with the word "porn" in it is even better!!!
    3636 days ago
    You can do it! emoticon Virginia Sparkers are a team of 116,665 Members. When I agreed to help, I ended up the only leader. I asked for help, other co-captains kept team going when I was out plateauing. I need help as much as anybody, but I find when I help others I am not as worried about poor me. I have to find what we have in common, not our differences.
    3636 days ago
    Really - you just DO the challenge. Be your normal hilarious boobstain self. We've got it under control. Or at least we'll LIE to you and tell you so, so you can provide what WE can't -- your wit, fun, and words.

    Relax, beeyotch. We're scarily awesome, which means YOU get to chill.


    No worries. A group email is just as easy to send to 700 as it is to 10. DELEGATE!
    3636 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by JULIEMINER