Here we go again...

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Okay so I am basically talking to myself on here but it helps to type it out. I did great lost about 40 lbs.
So pressing fast fwd I got pregnant and had a baby. emoticon Now I have to lose the weight again. I can't really blame the regaining of weight on the baby. I had gained about 20 lbs of it back and then the rest after I got pregnant.
I am doing my best to get back on track. It sucks because i know what I have to do to get rid of this weight but its just actually doing it. My goal as far as working out is to go 3x a week. With the baby my mom has to watch him every time I go so I really feel like I am pushing it since she already watches him for other things too. Not only that but I am also going to school so I spend extra time I have doing homework/studying.
The real problem I have isn't working out but its eating. I seriously hate food! Okay I don't hate it otherwise I wouldn't be in this position - I just hate I some food makes me weak. Over indulged when I was pregnant so I am not going to lie about that. I just have to make better choices.
I have to say I have gotten better but I am not tracking my calories down on SP. I do try to keep a mental count most days but we all know that isn't the same.

I have also been separated from my husband for the past year. I will be single again soon and honestly it is a good thing for me and I am looking forward to it.
My thing is I have such a low self esteem right now. I seriously feel like no one will want me because I am not skinny enough. Plus, I have two kids. If I was hot and had two kids it wouldn't be so hard. emoticon I just want to find someone who will accept my kids and me and who deserves us. I have strayed a bit from the subject but this is something I think about often.

Well gotta go back to being a mommy...may write more later.
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  • ALAINA629
    Thanks for the encouragement. I wish I could fast fwd to the point when I lose all the weight. LOL
    3694 days ago
  • no profile photo MAMANOVAPR
    Mama, I totally know where you are coming from with the whole baby weight loss. While I was pregnant with our second I came to love food.I ate a 3 lb bag of peanut m & ms like it wasn't a thing. I have to say that you gotta hang in there. The weight will come off. And someone will want you, with or without the little extra baby chub you have. :) Hang in there.
    3694 days ago
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