Here we go again...
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Okay so I am basically talking to myself on here but it helps to type it out. I did great lost about 40 lbs.
So pressing fast fwd I got pregnant and had a baby.
Now I have to lose the weight again. I can't really blame the regaining of weight on the baby. I had gained about 20 lbs of it back and then the rest after I got pregnant.
I am doing my best to get back on track. It sucks because i know what I have to do to get rid of this weight but its just actually doing it. My goal as far as working out is to go 3x a week. With the baby my mom has to watch him every time I go so I really feel like I am pushing it since she already watches him for other things too. Not only that but I am also going to school so I spend extra time I have doing homework/studying.
The real problem I have isn't working out but its eating. I seriously hate food! Okay I don't hate it otherwise I wouldn't be in this position - I just hate I some food makes me weak. Over indulged when I was pregnant so I am not going to lie about that. I just have to make better choices.
I have to say I have gotten better but I am not tracking my calories down on SP. I do try to keep a mental count most days but we all know that isn't the same.
I have also been separated from my husband for the past year. I will be single again soon and honestly it is a good thing for me and I am looking forward to it.
My thing is I have such a low self esteem right now. I seriously feel like no one will want me because I am not skinny enough. Plus, I have two kids. If I was hot and had two kids it wouldn't be so hard.
I just want to find someone who will accept my kids and me and who deserves us. I have strayed a bit from the subject but this is something I think about often.
Well gotta go back to being a mommy...may write more later.