ELISHA1015

SparkPoints
 

Then and Now - Reflections of Past and Present Me.

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

So, this is my first blog entry to this site. I keep a blog elsewhere, but until today, I have not felt the need to post one. But I have a few things on my mind that I would like to express and I think they are in line with this website.

First, yesterday was my start day of the 8 weeks to 5K program. This week's schedule is 4 minutes walking / 1 minute jogging, for a total of 20 minutes. I'm not going to lie, it was hard. I was so out of breath (because I am so out of shape!) Plus, my "mental man" was telling me that I couldn't do it, and that I should just stop. Thankfully, I didn't listen to him; I just kept pushing myself. After I was done with the routine and was driving home, I realized that I felt much better and that the last 2 laps weren't that bad. So, I am looking forward to doing this again tomorrow (it is an every other day rotation) and I am sure my "mental man" will be there too, discouraging me all the way, but that's ok. I fight harder when someone says I can't.

Second, I had the best dinner last night and while I was eating it, I realized that it was better than most restaurant meals. And that is saying a lot for me because I am (or was) the Queen of dining out. For dinner I had grilled chicken, cauli mashed "potatoes" and fresh sautéed green beans. I must say, fresh really makes a BIG difference. I recently discovered a produce market in my area and I try to go there once a week and stock up. I find that I look forward to buying veggies now and more importantly, I look forward to eating them! I even look for recipes online that will give ideas on how to cook and use them.

Third, I recently read a blog from a member that upset and disturbed me. According to her, she has been doing a certain way of eating for a week and she is upset that she has not lost more than a 1 pound during the course of the week. She goes on to say that she was doing another weight-loss before and she left them because she was not seeing the results she wanted. Her goal is to lose 30-40 pounds in 3-4 months. I feel very sad for this woman because it is just not reasonable that she will lose this amount of weight in such a short amount of time. More importantly though, I am not sad that she will not achieve her goal weight, I am sad at what she is doing to her body physically and mentally. Her post made me question and reflect as to if I have ever been in her state before. And the sad answer is yes, yes I have. Being at the place mentally that I am now, I can see just how self-defeating this young woman's weight-loss goals are. She will more than likely not achieve her ideal goals, and therefore will probably quit the weight-loss effort and additionally beat herself up for it. I know I did.

So, this brings me to another topic. How did I get to the "mental nirvana" that I am currently experiencing? I am not sure. It's only been in the last few months that I have achieved this state. I do know that I decided that 2011 is going to be my year and I have not let any "setbacks' derail me. I know that I am not always making the wisest food decisions, but I no longer berate myself for them and then "fall off the wagon." In fact, when I let myself have that cookie, or those french fries, I am OK with it because I know my next meal will have better food choices because my body will desire them. I listen more to my body over my brain and even though that is not always easy (in fact it is down right hard) I remain confident that my efforts will be realized and achieved. To date, I have lost 20 pounds so this reinforces my opinion that my efforts are working. I may not see the scale budge for a few weeks at a time, but I know that eventually it will. My mantra has become, slow and steady definitely wins the race, and whereas before this might have defeated me, now it encourages and empowers me. I will achieve. I will succeed. Is there any other alternative? Not for me.




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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SHIRLANGEL
    Kudos for sticking with your workout and not listening to the voice saying that you should stop. I love your outlook and attitude about getting fit and losing weight. Congrats on sticking with it and not berating yourself for minor detours like a cookie. emoticon
    3272 days ago
  • SCMAMAJONES
    You can't win this war with a diet, you have to completely change your lifestyle and your ideas about food. Congratulations on the 20-pound loss, and in my crystal ball I see many more pounds melting away in the future.

    I would love to see more blogs from you in the future -- to me, that is one of the most important parts of sparkpeople.
    emoticon
    3272 days ago
  • KJWILSON211
    Great outlook, I totally agree with you. I plateaued for 4 months it was hard to keep going but giving up wasn't an alternative just kept telling myself one foot in front of the other and eventually the weight will start moving down again. Thank God it finally has!! Good Luck on your journey.
    3273 days ago
  • JOANNECHEF
    I'm so proud of you Elisha. I'm so happy that we can do this together. emoticon
    3273 days ago
  • BACK2MINIME
    Elisha I love your blog! I agree with you 100%. I also decided that this year I was going to make a true change in my life and for 64 days I have been working hard and proud of loosing 11 pounds. I also noticed that before I would be angry for not loosing more weight faster but I believe that this time I am ready and serious of what I want to achieve. Best wishes!
    3273 days ago
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