Then and Now - Reflections of Past and Present Me.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
So, this is my first blog entry to this site. I keep a blog elsewhere, but until today, I have not felt the need to post one. But I have a few things on my mind that I would like to express and I think they are in line with this website.
First, yesterday was my start day of the 8 weeks to 5K program. This week's schedule is 4 minutes walking / 1 minute jogging, for a total of 20 minutes. I'm not going to lie, it was hard. I was so out of breath (because I am so out of shape!) Plus, my "mental man" was telling me that I couldn't do it, and that I should just stop. Thankfully, I didn't listen to him; I just kept pushing myself. After I was done with the routine and was driving home, I realized that I felt much better and that the last 2 laps weren't that bad. So, I am looking forward to doing this again tomorrow (it is an every other day rotation) and I am sure my "mental man" will be there too, discouraging me all the way, but that's ok. I fight harder when someone says I can't.
Second, I had the best dinner last night and while I was eating it, I realized that it was better than most restaurant meals. And that is saying a lot for me because I am (or was) the Queen of dining out. For dinner I had grilled chicken, cauli mashed "potatoes" and fresh sautéed green beans. I must say, fresh really makes a BIG difference. I recently discovered a produce market in my area and I try to go there once a week and stock up. I find that I look forward to buying veggies now and more importantly, I look forward to eating them! I even look for recipes online that will give ideas on how to cook and use them.
Third, I recently read a blog from a member that upset and disturbed me. According to her, she has been doing a certain way of eating for a week and she is upset that she has not lost more than a 1 pound during the course of the week. She goes on to say that she was doing another weight-loss before and she left them because she was not seeing the results she wanted. Her goal is to lose 30-40 pounds in 3-4 months. I feel very sad for this woman because it is just not reasonable that she will lose this amount of weight in such a short amount of time. More importantly though, I am not sad that she will not achieve her goal weight, I am sad at what she is doing to her body physically and mentally. Her post made me question and reflect as to if I have ever been in her state before. And the sad answer is yes, yes I have. Being at the place mentally that I am now, I can see just how self-defeating this young woman's weight-loss goals are. She will more than likely not achieve her ideal goals, and therefore will probably quit the weight-loss effort and additionally beat herself up for it. I know I did.
So, this brings me to another topic. How did I get to the "mental nirvana" that I am currently experiencing? I am not sure. It's only been in the last few months that I have achieved this state. I do know that I decided that 2011 is going to be my year and I have not let any "setbacks' derail me. I know that I am not always making the wisest food decisions, but I no longer berate myself for them and then "fall off the wagon." In fact, when I let myself have that cookie, or those french fries, I am OK with it because I know my next meal will have better food choices because my body will desire them. I listen more to my body over my brain and even though that is not always easy (in fact it is down right hard) I remain confident that my efforts will be realized and achieved. To date, I have lost 20 pounds so this reinforces my opinion that my efforts are working. I may not see the scale budge for a few weeks at a time, but I know that eventually it will. My mantra has become, slow and steady definitely wins the race, and whereas before this might have defeated me, now it encourages and empowers me. I will achieve. I will succeed. Is there any other alternative? Not for me.